:: CNY plans ::

well, we've been planning for a getaway during CNY,but we haven't arrive to a decision yet on where to go..

the initial plan was to tag along with my IL.. but then, the ticket was way too pricey, that we feel it's not worth it to tag along.. maklum lerr the new ride has cause a DEEP DENT to our account balance, so langkah berjimat cermat sedang diaplikasikan.. (sigh)

so today, after my urut + tungku + sauna session, kalau the boys tido, i might start hunting around la kot.. really want to go on a holiday with the boys.. hmm.. suggestion anyone?

till then.. bye!

:: sama tapi tak serupa ::

best to describe my twin boys - afiq and adib..

had a 'cooking' day today.. serving my loved ones in kain batik, param and pilis in the kitchen..

in my previous entry, i've told ya on how afiq and adib are getting fed up with the normal soupy and ikan goreng.. i'm a bit worried as afiq is very much underweight, and it's a great concern when i see his paed.. i hate putting him on protein supplement.. but i have to..

so, to overcome my boys' eating problem, i decided to cook today.. (smalam tak masak since my mom dished up delicious nasi tomato.. hehe) tengahari masak cantonese fried kuey teow.. afiq makan banyak sangat.. suka! siap tambah.. :D hilang penat mommy.. tapi adib didn't enjoy the food much..

for dinner, i masak a lil' bit western to fulfil adib's taste bud.. (he likes western foodie so much.. u should watch him eat mushroom soup wit garlic bread..) i cooked spaghetti with cream sauce.. break my rules, i let my boys to enjoy some sausages.. to my astonishment.. afiq didn't like it at all, that he finally had nasi putih with sayur goreng.. and adib.. u can guess what happened..

kesimpulannya : my sons have a very different tastebud.. afiq is very melayu when it comes to food.. and adib is very the very western.. nampak gayanya after this, mommy dia kena invent fusion food la gamaknya to complement both tastebud.. nasib baik bapak dia universal.. kalau bapak dia pulak tekak mamak.. PENGSAN MOMMY!

:: hutang tag dgn mas ::

layan tag mas

Soalan: Nyatakan 5 kedai yang anda pantang jumpa mesti nak masuk dan beli barang

1. ISETAN - dari belum ada baby sampai dah beranak 3 (i still say beranak 3, though satu dah takde), i just love this store.. beli handbag pun mostly kat sini, beli baju pun kat sini, etc.. and i love the bakery upstairs.. and i love the freshness of ther fruits kat supermarket, though at times the price is wayyyyyyy crazy!

2. MOTHERCARE - i like their upscale quality.. though selalu masuk jarang beli barang, but i do make the best out of it bila sale.. ;) talking about savvy spending.. :D

3. BOOKSTORES - my favourite would be KINOKUNIYA.. where i normally got my shopaholic series, recipe books..

4. KEDAI KITCHENWARES - especially bila on holiday kat overseas.. reason being, i just love collecting the unique plates, and lepas tuh dok la kena wrap nak bawak balik mesia.. :P

5. AL-IKHSAN - not because i'm a sports fan, tapi terpaksa sbb diheret suami terchenta.. :D (sah² tak beli apa kan?)

Tag untuk 5 orang berikutnye
1. hubby - where i know ur answers will be - AL IKHSAN, STADIUM & seangkatan dengannya
2. Reza
3. Farihah
4. sheri
5. hrm, who's the lucky 5th? hmm, kita assign LG la pulak..

:: super sensitive ::

second entry of the day.. rajin plak hari nih.. actually bukan rajin pun.. writing is therapeutic to me.. so whenever i feel down, or the need to express my feeling arise, blogging is always there for me..

why do i blog instead of share how i feel with my close ones? simple.. blogging makes me feel free to type, (though sometimes i still ada element censorship in my entries) delete when necessary, retype and restructure what i wrote without hurting anyone..

i'm not sure whether it's due to my pantang, or current situation.. i just feel pretty easy to be hurt by my close ones.. be it family members, husband, or anyone.. sometimes rasa, i'm living alone in a large world.. feel lonely in crowd.. i know i've decided to be happy, but i need support still.. agaknya inilah yang divorcees rasa kot.. or those yang hilang their loved ones..

sometimes simple 'high pitch' reply hurt my feeling.. aishah don't use to be like this.. she's one iron lady.. trust me.. she has been hurt by many, but she manage to overcome all those matter.. but now, i'm not sure where does the strength goes.. macam direntap²..

agaknya inilah ragam berpantang.. super sensitive.. takpe, 28 days to go, and i'm free like a bird..

it's half past 9 already, and i wonder, why la anak² aku tamau tido lagi..

:: 16 hari berpantang ::

i'm on my 16th day of confinement.. but then, macam dah org tak dalam pantang anymore.. partly due to, i have no newborn baby to take care and to remind me that i'm in my confinement period and partly, i can't really enjoy my time with my boys, as i'm forbidden from carrying them around..

today, break the rule, and i cook for my boys.. my boys lately tamau makan nasi.. my maids dok komplen, makan sikit sgt.. reason being - (i think la) they're bored with soupy stuff and ikan.. hehe.. typical mommy.. mmg turun perangai i yang tak suka makan mende yang sama for a long period.. so, to make sure they at least eat, i dished up simple nasi goreng- diced the carrot, sliced up the sawi, bits of oyster mushroom, egg, kicap cair, normal wg putih + merah. sikit jek oyster sauce.. pastu potong kecik² hash brown yang dah digoreng.. walla.. banyak gila diorang makan.. smalam si afiq agaknya mogok ngan lauk yang sama, dia sanggup makan nasi putih kosong jek! nampak gayanya, esok and days onwards, mommy dia kena masak la despite being in confinement period.. smalam discuss ngan husband, nampak²nya bila dah start keje nanti, i kena jugak masak.. skang nih pepagi pun tamau dah makan cereal.. nak makan cam org besau.. guess, i finally need to hit kinokuniya and get the anabel karmel punya buku la kan sheri?

tu satu story.. afiq n adib skang dah pandai nak meng'handsome'kan diri sendiri.. lupa lak nak share, my brother from ireland balik cuti one month.. this is his first time meeting his nephews.. i though he's gonna have a hard time to make the boys adapt to him, but hm. chocolate proves me wrong.. suap choccy, tak sampai satu jam dah boleh attach and main².. so bila dia ada kat umah at the moment nih, kurang la sket boring si afiq and adib sbb ada org melayan.. bagi minum vitagen la, bawak round la, snap² gambar la and paling best, bagi pakai sunglasses.. my goodness, perasan habis! he's going back on the 3rd, hopefully the boys won't miss him that much sampai demam²..

what else? owh, next year, we might embark our journey as kunun² expatriate.. haha.. i might need to take longgggggg unpaid leave.. (dear, u may need to revise my monthly allowances) to accompany hubby.. should this become reality, finally i'll get the chance to feel and experience being a fulltime housewife.. heh.. talking bout trying to be a perfect, gorgeous housewife.. ;)

guess that's all for now.. ari nih afiq n adib tak main kat lawn.. sbb hari hujan sket.. hmm, btw, u might find this entry sounds a bit happy and seems that 've recover from the tragedy.. well, i came accross an article about tunku zawiyyah (datuk k's ex wife).. she said, u will only be happy, when u decide to be happy.. it made me realize that i have to move on with life, and take good care of afiq and adib.. as amin in a better hand and care.. so, people, be positive in everything that happened.. though once in a while, i'll definitely miss him and wonders how life would be if he's alive, but i'm a Muslim, i must believe in qada' dan qadar.. for everything that happened adalah rahsia Allah belaka.. He knows what is the best for His hamba.. and He won't test us with things that we can't take..

to all my friends, who have been with me, throughout my thick and thin, thank you so much.. only Allah can repay your kindness thought..

take good care everyone.. zai jian! (means - see u again.. dulu amik mandarin course tapi hangat² taik ayam)

:: flashback ::

2008.. a year, full of happiness and sadness..

it has been a smooth sailing year in 2008.. we've been hit by various great news, not forgetting hard, bitter memories that took place in december 11.. but life has to go on, and i can't forever grief..

looking back, i'm very grateful, that Allah has granted me with three adorable sons.. though one has parted away from my life, but he's still and forever my son.. Allah has given me such adorable twins, and they now have grown into 2 handsome toddler, with a very unique personality each one of them.. afiq is so called 'attention seeker' and he's pretty manja with everyone, while adib is very boyish and independent.. arwah amin on the other hand, has been called by Allah.. aku redha..

me and husband has learned a lot through out this 2008.. we're very happy that we at least now, know that i can conceive naturally and have the ability to deliver naturally.. alhamdulillah.. and i hope and i pray, that Allah will give me more chances to do so in the near future.. amin..

i hope with the journey of 2008, that is full of bends and rocky roads, beautified by sweet roses and flowers along the journey will prepare us for a better year in 2009.. i want to be a better muslismah, a better wife, a better mom, a better daughter, a better friend, a better employee, a better employer, in short a better in every matter!

welcome 2009.. aishah is taking her babystep to a better her.. amin..

:: through the dark night ::

through the dark night,
he came to me,
projecting the memories,
carved during our courting months..

through the dark night,
he's so near,
but never came closer,
yet now,
he's so far,
but so close to my heart..

through the dark night,
struggle to close my eyes,
feel so pain,
feel so low..

but again,
through the dark night,
i garner my strength,
recite my doa,
he made me realize,
we plan,
but He decides..