:: the boys ::

layan gambar la ek..


susah betul nak dapat gambar cam nih.


afiq's new skill. 'gantung'.


aksi biasa menyumbat ubat.


i like this shot! adib tgh attempt nak 'korek' hidung afiq. haha!

:: boys update : progress part 3 ::

i miss blogging a lot! too much to tell, too much to share but too little time to write.

first and foremost, to all my dear readers and viewers, salam aidilfitri, forgive me if i have wronged you in anyways. hope all of you had a good raya with your loved ones. :)

anyway, syukur, after twice admittance to the ward, i'm getting much better. alhamdulillah, and i hope and pray i'll get better soon.

i don't intend to talk about my pregnancy that much, but rather would like to share my twins' progress. so here goes.. :)

:: their progress part 3 ::

mommy : daddy keja mana?
afiq adib : daddy keja tonas (petronas)

mommy : mommy keja mana?
adib : men (government)
afiq : mommy keja tonas
mommy : ait! mommy keja government la!
afiq : eh.. mala (eh, marah..) sambil sengih

mommy : lembu makan apa?
them : lembu makan lumput (rumput)

mommy : ayam makan apa?
them : ayam makan na-cik (nasi)

mommy : kucing makan apa?
them : kucing makan bi-kut (biskut)

mommy : pak cu balik mana?
them : cardiff

mommy : pak lang balik mana?
them : da-bin (dublin)

mommy : pak ngah balik mana?
them : ke (melaka)

mommy : tok papa balik mana?
them : ganu (terengganu)

:: scene 1 ::
mommy with the syringe filled with antibiotics to be fed to adib. adib was crying, tak nak makan ubat.

afiq was standing at side, watching. tetiba dia cakap kat adib, 'olen' (means : adib, makanla ubat tuh, rasa orange.. adoi.. sedangkan si afiq tuh kalau nak bagi makan ubat, mak aihhh bersilat)

:: scene 2 ::
afiq mengamuk depan fridge nak minum cold milo. i didn't allow him to do so, and he threw tantrum. i pinched him on his leg, hoping that it could be a lesson to him. instead of crying, he asked me, 'adib?' (means, adib tak kena cubit ke?)

:: scene 3 ::
i woke up in the morning to adib's voices. i was very² sleepy that i couldn't open up my eyes. i really wanted to doze off again, that i asked him to go to his nenek (my maid).

i said to him (something like this), "mommy tak larat. mommy sakit perut".

he looked concern, and then replied, "mommy sakit puyut?" (mommy sakit perut?)

then he reached for my vicks on the bed, "ubat!" (bubuh ubat)

then, he reached for my glasses and passed it to me while saying, "pek mommy." (spek mommy)

last but not least, he reached for my mobile, and passed it to me, "pon daddy!" (telefon daddy)

hehe. he's one good boy!

:: vocab baru ::

baby bija - baby che liza (my sis in law's newborn daughter)
daddy isi minyak tonas - daddy isi minyak kat petronas
daddy lepair - daddy repair
buh beti - bubuh bateri
bob bider can - bob the builder, can u fix it?
loli - rolley (bob the builder's character)
bizzy - dizzy (bob the builder's character)
pi mosh - mickey mouse
mommy tak lalat - mommy tak larat
sakit puyut - sakit perut
bubuh ubat - bubuh ubat
bubuh pi mosh - bubuh plaster (plaster tuh gambar mickey mouse)
gigit mok - gigit nyamuk
gata - gatal
cubit kit - cubit sakit
mily - emily (character in thomas the tank engine)
lady - lady (character in thomas the tank engine)
dobas - douglas (character in thomas the tank engine)
gordon - gordon (character in thomas the tank engine)
molly - molly (character in thomas the tank engine)
fat ler - fat controller (character in thomas the tank engine)

hitting the big 2 year mark, the boys sekarang makin lain in characters. both in their very own unique way. afiq is one bubbly boy. who can talks and talks. kalau journey tuh 20 minutes, 15 minutes tuh u can hear his voice only, while adib senyap saje, tengok cd. masa kecik² dulu, my FIL selalu cakap, adib nih macam corporate figure. tak banyak mulut.

afiq minat music, adib on the other hand minat benda² yang bergerak².

adib is one good runner (laju oo dia lari), afiq on the other hand, lari kelakar. macam orang lari nak buat lompat tinggi, kaki naik atas.

afiq mat ensem, adib mat sempoi. cukup la si afiq senyap kalau sikat rambut dia depan cermin. perasan hokay!

hm.. okayla kot. nih pun amek masa 2 hari type this entry before posting. hilang 'touch' lerr bila dah lama tinggal keyboard.

hope u guys enjoy the story. gambar raya, tak terupload lagi. semua still in camera. nanti kalau ada time i buat yeah?

take care all.. zai jian!

:: entry cha-cha marba ::

lama tak berupdate.

faktor utama : malas nak bukak lappie.
faktor sampingan : mabuk

OH was supposed to arrive back in KL today, but he was stranded in moscow for a day as the plane was being pulled off from runway. aiyakkk. esok baru sampai. tapi tak pe la, it's better to be slowly but surely rather than the other way round.

raya dah makin dekat, but i haven't got the groove yet. perhaps, sebab telinga ini agak suci dari mendengar lagu2 raya sebab tak naik kereta. the only time i dengar radio pun is while i drive (not even blogging! discpline noks! hehe)

but looking at the two kids, surely, the raya is meriah la kan.. (though potential besar beraya di KL tahun nih since it's my OH's turn..) my IL's selalunya esok nak raya pun tak sure lagi nak balik kampung bila. hehe. tapi if IL's decide to balik tganu awal, then thee might a sway of plan la kot, as i can't really do travel at the moment.

talking of latest pregnancy, lately selalu sangat teringat to arwah amin. macam ternampak2 and teringat2 the peristiwa that i went through the fated night. tipula kalau i cakap i tak takut kan? but tu semua dah ketentuan Tuhan. in fact at first, i was thinking of putting my pregnancy to silence, but i know that's not the way to manage my fear.

i'm seeing a totally new dr for this pregnancy. it's not that i don't trust my former, but i think it's better to sway away from him for a while. syukur Oh kerja dengan company yang cover maternity bills up to 5 pregnancies. bolehla support the bills seeing good drs at good medical centre.

this year's raya, i didn't plan to make any kuih raya at first. but looking at my children mengendeng kuih my sis in law, tak sampai hati pulak rasa. buat jugak la kuih choc cornflake (the one and only cookie yang aku expert buat sebab senang teramat). belum sempat 'set' kuih, my sons dah rayakan dah kuih tuh. i could really bake cookies if the oven is big enough. kalau setakat oven skang nih.. mintak hampun gua nak bakar. tak sanggup oo!

okay la all. am taking this opportunity to wish everyone, salam lebaran. maaf zahir dan batin. have a safe journey!

ps - i belum ada baju raya. camana nih?

:: self updates ::

it has been 2 days since i was discharged. the bleeding has so far nowhere to be seen, but the nausea is getting worst, that kinda reminds me during my days carrying afiq and adib in my 'small' tummy. it's a bit lesser compared to my first experience but definitely worst than the time when i carried late Amin.

this is not my first experience going through threaten abortion. second to be exact. but during my first time, i was pampered like a princess. i was on complete bed rest, with food being sent to me. that was then.

now? complete bed rest is too good to be true. i have two kids to look after, while OH declined my request to be back a week earlier to assist me out. mom and dad is busy at office, tho they still helped me a lot. bro got a business to look after and in laws are no where to be seen. kids are getting more mischievous. belum masuk cerita menangis minta dukung, which i definitely can't do! and i am totally hurt by OH decision for not coming back, just because he didn't want to return to russia a week earlier as planned. but still, u've got AL to take, but guess it's never an option. no point bargaining when he has made up his mind. guess ALLAH dah tunjuk, which path shall i take. i don't think following him to russia is a good decision.

i still cook, but pretty lightly. hari ni, tak masak. suruh maid aje masak. supply is running low. and perhaps kalau kering sangat nanti, kena jugakla drive pegi cari grocery. the dr will definitely jegil mata if she knew about this. but what am i supposed to do?

pretty much, i feel very alone in managing myself. i need support not arguements. i need help both physical and spiritually. not just calls. nampak macam demanding kan? tapi rasanya, apalah sangat with the dugaan that pregnant wife goes through kan?

dahla readers. i dseriously don't have the mood to write. i write this pun because i know he'll read it. i have no other means. talking and discussing seems impossible, but i have to let the steam out kan>

by the way, after going through this, i firmly believe SAHM will not materialize in this near future.

:: threatened abortion ::

first and foremost, thank you to all for the well wishes. pardon me for being unable to say thank you personally to each one of you.

past few days have been hectic. coming home late, attending the boys needs while fasting really take a toll on this 8 weeks pregnant lady. yesterday, after a long drive to and fro kl-kelang, with heavy traffic and so, i saw spotting when i was about to perform my asr prayers. i remain calm, continue with shower and solat. once done, head upstairs and looked up for mom and asked for their time to send me to the hospital for check up.

since it was near iftar, it made more sense to break the fast first and then head to the hospital. after iftar and maghrib prayers, dad and mom drove me to hosp for check up, and i was wheeled to the emergency room. i was diagnosed with threatened abortion and was admitted for 8 hrs observation.

first time in my life ever, i have to manage my own admission to ward since OH is not around. it's kinda sad, sbb ada patient lain with same case ada husband kat sebelah giving continuous support while me alone, (and yet gaduh lagi with OH due to some things).

i tried to put myself to sleep that night, and syukur the bleed has stopped. this morning, the dr did an ultrasound on my stretch-marked tummy, and syukur again, the baby's heart is beating. i was discharged with dr's reminder to take things slower and tto minimize movement as much as possible. i am now under hospitalization leave for 2 weeks (that means i am on raya hols already). have to be very careful with myself, as i really want this baby.

at the moment, i have to surrender afiq and adib to mom for her to look after especially at nights. i just hope and pray that mom will be fit and healthy as i know mom is not so well either.

anyway, i've some persoalaan agama here, and hope if any of my readers could advise me on this matter. should i skip my fast for the fear of losing my baby, do i have to pay fidyah? as i think i've come accross that matter somewhere but i'm not really sure. hope anyone could lend me an answer.

thank you again to all my well wishers. please don't take it hard if i can't thank you personally. take care. and happy fasting

:: ate! (pronounced as A-TE)::

i came home late yesterday. finding my way through JJ stocking up my sons' food and needs. exhausted.

reached home at 7 and was greeted by a funny incident narrated by my dad.

he told me that he called the house, and the phone rang, but after that it went silent.

he tried again, and this time around the maid picked the call up and explained, it was my son, afiq who picked up the phone just now.

the phone was later transferred to afiq, and afiq began his talk..

afiq : atuk, ate!

can anyone guess, what he actually said??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

he was asking for this..

SATE!

and yes, he ate 3 full cucuk of sate.

hai melayu betul anak mommy nih. mommy dia tak la pulak suka makan sate..

hari nih mommy dia masak ikan kerisi sweet sour. hopefully nak la makan. anak² nih kena tackle taste bud dia betul². both afiq n adib cepat muak with one type of food, so i have to ubah² and alter² apa yang patut. kekadang tuh, their selera can go very simple.. makan nasik ngan kicap, lauk ayam goreng. kadang² they want ikan bilis goreng and bawang goreng! kadang² sup. fenin mommy.

kay la all. nak beradu mata sebentar......

:: entry lap air mata ::

at this moment of time, i wish he could come back, and give me the very needed massage and words of courage.

with my health condition lately, and work stress that is unnecessary, 2 kids to look after all alone, i'm cracking under pressure!!!huwa!!!

yes, my head is spinning almost 12 hours a day (kasik discount sket) and fasting has been a challenge. the things that keep me going - my two kids, my responsibility, a bit of patience left and hope.

moga hati terus tabah menghadapi hari² sukar..

(lap air mata)