Tuesday, March 31, 2009

:: adib says.. "kum." ::

submitted my annual leave form yesterday. will be on leave this thursday nak gi tengok cerita confession of a shopaholic to celebrate TOH's 31st birthday. sapakah yang dicelebrate, aku ke dia? hehe.. tak pe la. dah lama pun tak gi tgk movie. 2 yrs ada kot. eversince i was preggy with the boys!

i have no ideas at all on what to blog today. yeah, life has been a little bit monotonous lately, so nothing much to tell.

on the other hand, nak jugak story mory pasal my twins. normally, i'll greet them with salam when they woke up in the morning. so surprisingly, today, adib pulak yang greet me! yeay! tapi guna version dia la.. "kum." what a happy feeling!

ok la all. kalau ada idea datang, nanti i blog lagi okay. da!

Monday, March 30, 2009

:: monday blues ::

TOH arrived safely yesterday evening after a long 33.5hrs journey that includes triple transit before heading back to KL. tu la nasib kan kalau projek tuh kat tempat jin bertendang jauh sangat.

since TOH was away during the weekend, the responsibility to entertain the boys fall on mommy's shoulder solely. my boys nih macam dah tau hari. kalau tengok mommy dia ada jek kat rumah, they'll know it's weekend, and when it's weekend, it's at a least a day out for them. i was not too keen to bring them to out door park, afraid that they'll outrun me. so, i decided to chauffeur them to MV and put mommy's calorie intake to good use let them burn their calories at Megakiz. :P

on sunday, after sucha looooooooong time, i finally basuh kereta sendiri. yeah, all these whiles, it's hubby who look after the car, but then since last week pun tarak basuh, i have to wash jugak la the car. mak aihh.. it was none stop - first grocery shopping (i siap tunggu JJ bukak lagik okay dengan my boys and my maid), then car washing, then nasi ayam cooking, then put the boys to sleep, then lap balik kereta sebab dah basah kena hujan (punya la nak tunjuk kereta tuh bersih kat suami terchenta), then hubby picking (boleh pakai ke term nih?) kat KL sentral, then dinner, then IL visiting, pergh! panjang teramat aktiviti yesterday!

i haven't come up with any solid plan for my husband's coming birthday. i'm actually running out of ideas on pressies. tgk la macamana.

okay la all. i nak jenguk² apa la cerita my mins of meeting tak keluar² lagi dari bilik boss for approval. take care. zai jian!

ps : aku dilanda monday blues..

Friday, March 27, 2009

:: bloggers : appreciation and hopes ::

hari ni, i nak blog pasal bloggers.

:D jeng jeng jeng

well, yesterday, sambil layan diri sebelum tidur 'bermuhasabah' diri, rupa²nya baru aku perasan, yang aku nih dah 4 tahun (i started in july 2005) terlibat dalam dunia blogging. mak aih, lama gila! kiranya dah darjah empat dah kalau sekolah. (kalau time aku dulu dah kena belajar alam dan manusia ngan subjek amalan perdagangan) apa kaitan?? layan jek mengarut ku pagi nih.

anyway, as stated above, i'd like to blog about bloggers. in specific, the blog that i just so love to read, and make it a point to read. (actually, the one in my list tuh mmg my common visits, but these bloggers have something special that makes me enjoy reading their blog) i'll name a few, yeah?

no.1 blog nard
nard nih coursemate aku masa kat utm. mmg senget okay? (sorry nard. senget in a positive way yeah?) dia nih kira fun lady to be with. pernah satu group ngan aku masa buat lab. group lab nih susun ikut alphabet, so bila susun, group aku mmg majoriti fomfuan uolz! dah² aku dah mula melalut.

anyway, kenapa aku suka baca blog nard? aku suka baca blog dia sebab blog dia HONEST. honest meaning, i know this lady in person, tapi bila aku baca blog dia, aku bley rasa dia yang bercakap. hah! mmg blog dia kekadang buat aku cam orang gila, sengih sengsorang depan pc. atau senang kata buat aku kantoi ngan boss kalau dia lalu depan aku tapi tengok aku tengah sengih. boleh?

i just love her ability to make simple thing funny. (nard ur latest entry memang buat aku sengih². kalau ko tak approve kan komen aku pun aku tak kesah.. haha)

no. 2 lemongrass
i love her ramblings. simple, direct. though i don't know her in person, i just enjoy to look on the food laid for family (sgt best nampak), her beautiful girls (sgt chanteq). kalaulah i can be a wroking mom but still got time to cook like her. anyway, she reminds me (kinda) of my life when i was in sydney, 6 years ago. rindu plak coles.. (aku tatau napa aku suka sgt buat grocery shopping kat coles, rather than woolworth or other places)

no. 3 amri zaharin + linie
amri is my little brother, and linie is my not so little cousin. i love their writing. very good writer. very good narrator. every words written fall in the right place. they hit the pitch right, their scribbles sounds so harmony and so real, though at times they were writing about misery. ello both, u guys should end up like JK Rowling, rather than checking figures accountant!
check out their blog and u'll understand what i mean.

other than that, there are few bloggers that i met through this borderless world. jue for example. we met in my blog, and since then, i just feel that i've known her for a long² time. there are times u can feel that u just simply could click with someone. chemistry or perhaps similarities in personality and thinking has made that possible.

i know this blog (or at least to me la), dah jadi macam a place to keep in touch with dear friends and family, as some of those who are dear to me like my brothers falah and amri are in far far away land, my besties salhana kat p/jaya, din beramboi chef in the making, zaidin in labuan, my exhousemate kay dora far up north, ayin thousand and thousand miles away etc. (apsal aku tetiba tulis macam nih? aku pun confuse) but anyway, insya Allah, i'll try my best to update as frequent as possible for those dear to me. this blog has made me able to wade through the darkest moment of life with the support of dear family, friends and acquaintances. ur dropped by comments has made me able to see things that i can't see when i was hazy-minded.

aku rasa nih penangan dengar hotfm la pagi². aku macam dah terkena virus ABP. tulis entry pun macam tulis skrip menang award. muahaha.

pardon me yeah? ngeee

ps :
harapan no. 1
aku masih mengharap 2 org special ini me'launch' blog diorang, namely:-
1. salhana ismail
2. zaidin matsin

i believe this 2 peeps have extremely great sense of humour and will be able to make me laugh like hell in front of my pc, just the way nard did. bila korang nak buat blog??

harapan no. 2
TOH to update his blog. amacam, ada berani? hehe

Thursday, March 26, 2009

:: lunch entry ::

it's heavy downpour outside, i'm hoping for no flash flood to occur. amin.

anyway, had a pretty leisure day today. big bosses aren't around, and i fly went out for lunch with my fellow colleagues @ Sogo. i take the opportunity to get new orthodontic vented teats (puting susu) for my boys. we're running out of teats, and it's out of stock at the baby's one stop centre that i frequent. lepas tuh, tengok pulak that teats tuh ada less 20%, mommy jadi macam orang tak betul. beli puting susu sampai 20 (10 packs). tak pe. puting susu tuh memang susah nak dapat pun, and the price is pulling my legs. so bila ada cut off, that's the time you should stock up, right? (justifying the swipe that i made just now)

manage to chat with TOH yesterday. he told me that only then he realised that he was in a 29 hrs journey. he called us yesterday night, while roaming around moscow city with dear cousin, faizal.

lonely weekend is coming up, and i haven't got any plans for the weekend yet. i'm thinking of bringing the boys out, but i've no idea where to. any ideas peeps?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

:: 10 years of courting ::

it was supposed to be yesterday's entry, but it didn't cross my mind to write about it yesterday.

anyway, TOH is now on his way to a far, faraway land. will only return home coming sunday.

and yeah, this entry is pretty much about him, on how we become one.

i've known my other half for ages. and when i say ages, i really mean ages. we were in the same school back in the yesteryears. but it has never crossed my mind, that i'll be marrying him. in fact, he was the crush to one of my colleague back in school. ye lerr, ketua pengawas la katakan. mesti ada peminat right?

anyway, it's not only me who have known him for ages. my parents too. as his dad and my dad were in the same office before. we live in the same residential areas since kiddie, we went to the same school, not to mention went for holidays together with the families. first one was in 1995, just after my pmr result was announced, and the second was in 2002, when we were courting (pre-honeymoon, muahahaha) before i graduated from my first degree study.

so, why is it with yesterday bla.. bla.. bla.. yesterday was actually the day he proposed to me to become his special girlfriend (ehem) 10 years ago. (blush) there was no special occasion, no flowers, no fancy dinner. it was a simple outing, after final exam back in utm. (owh yeah, he was my senior too in utm. and we owe a lot too to his mom who in a way has made this relationship possible). we were in his car, and he was sending me back to college after a simple dinner that he popped the question. i never answer it though, but i know the smile on my face has told him what is in my heart. (auw.. karat yeah)

that was 10 years ago. 4 years later we tied the knot. and 4 years later we were blessed with adorable, handsome twin boys. and a year later, another boy, but we lost him hours before his delivery. 10 years rolling, 10 years of ups and downs, 10 years of sweet and bitter memories, 10 years getting stronger than ever. hand in hand we walk together. hand in hand we brave the wave. hand in hand we stroll smelling the flowers. hand in hand we strive for the moon. in each others arm, we love each other even more than ever.

i didn't say we were smooth sailor in our love journey. but the rocky roads have made us appreciate each other better.

i believe in love. and i do believe in honesty. and i do believe that love is all about sharing and caring. sharing the best and the ugliest side of u.

abang dearest,

happy 10 years courting anniversary! and i'd love to see more years to come.

part of me is you, and part of u is me. it takes two to make one complete.

ich lie bi dich. wo ai ni.


ps : kepada yang allergy dengan entry jiwang karat, sila jangan muntah darah ye. (owh, i should've put a warning earlier kan?)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

:: settlekan homework from bonda aqeem ::

1) Apakah nama blog anda sekarang dan kenapa anda memilih nama itu?
::Pieces of My Daily Life::
this blog macam e-diary. everything that i wrote is what the heart says. mostly, if not all.

2) Apakah link blog anda sekarang dan bagaimana boleh timbul idea untuk menamakannya seperti itu?
:: http://nooraishahzaharin.blogspot.com/ ::
kerana saya gila glamour. haha. tak la. guna jek nama sendiri kerana ia adalah nama yang diberi oleh ibu bapa saya dan perhaps that's what they hope for their only daughter.

3) Apakah 'method' penulisan dalam blog anda?
:: honest, with bits of censorship ::

4) Pernah terasa nak hapuskan blog anda? Sebabnya?
:: nope. nostalgic la blog nih::

5) Apakah pendapat anda mengenai blog kepada pemilik blog yang tag anda ini?
:: seorang bonda yang dedicated in both world - her family + career::

6) Senaraikan 5 orang yang akan anda tag
:: zaireen aka ayin::
:: reza::
:: kay ::
:: sheri::
:: and anyone who wants to do it ::

:: hujan rintik², air bergelombang ::

kat luar hujan lebat, menyebabkan aku lambat sampai opis.

kena pulak ari nih, ada perhimpunan. macamana aku bley lupa? nasib aku baik ada parking. :D kalau tak selamat basah naik opis sebab payung takde. dengan muka yang agak malu, aku berjalan dengan laju di hadapan bos² naik tingkat 1 di mana opis aku terletak dengan memakai selipar bewarna PINK sambil menjinjing kasut pump bewarna hitam.

apa ye nak cerita lagi? owh, hari ini suamiku akan berangkat terbang lagi. huhu. sangat bosan kerana dia hanya akan balik semula ke Kuala Lumpur pada hari ahad. ini bermakna saya terpaksa melayan dan merancang aktiviti hujung minggu bersama anak² secara bersendirian. saya juga terpaksa menjalankan aktiviti membeli-belah barangan keperluan rumah secara sendiri. yeah, saya tidak suka!

okay la kawan². saya berhenti di sini dahulu. jumpa lagi di lain siaran!

ps : okay tak entry cerita masukan hari ini?

Monday, March 23, 2009

:: penat punya weekend ::

had 'an almost' wonderful weekend, minus the incident. (just let the incident behind la yek)

anyway, i was planning to have 'great food weekend at home' this week, but then it was halted. sebabnya, masa balik dari office on friday evening, mom told me that my second cousin is hosting his wedding reception @ my dad's hometown (negeri sembilan) on saturday. so i have to make way for that.

after our routine pusara visit on saturday morning, we first head to bangi kopitiam (baru bukak kat taman melawati). had great nasi lemak, cham, kopi o, roti bakar and roti telur. amek! seriously, the food and most importantly the coffee is superb. i don't think i'll be visiting old town anymore! :D

balik jek dari breakie, terus siap and head to kampung. met my cousins yang lebih banyak berjumpa dalam facebook rather than face to face. haha. the pengantin looks cute in white songket. though white has never been in my list masa kawen dulu, as i know i look dull in white. i thought dad would like to spend long time in kampung. rupanya kejap jek. around 3pm, dah ajak balik.

that night, we spent some time at my MIL's. weekend jek la pun nak lepak² umah my IL sebab hubby's work tak menentu masa kalau nak gie masa weekday.

sunday, i suggested hubby that we take the boys out for their first roti canai breakie outside. we brought them to the small but famous stall in hulu klang. teh verdict? the boys enjoyed it so much! hehe. we bumped into our gynae (the one who delivered the boys and late amin) having his breakie there. frankly speaking, i don't think i can be a dr. hari ahad pun kerja yeah? mulia sungguh!

after the hearty breakie, we then head to MV. nak cari some toys and nak let the boys to jump around @ Megakiz. bought two big lorries for the boys, and adib tak bagi either mommy or daddy pegang his dump truck. dia seret la truck tu sendiri. lepas tuh gi megakiz and again the boys tamau kuar from there. we then decided to have lunch kat Rak Thai (i love the thai food there). sangat sedap.

balik umah, prepare pulak dinner. masak ikan siakap 3 rasa (recipe copy paste dari http://ummizaihadi-homesweethome.blogspot.com), bendi goreng belasah, tomyam asal ada (sebab main campak jek apa yang ada) and tofu jepun. sempat prepare bekal breakfast for monday, masak macaroni goreng. pergh, letih!

tu la my weekend. how about yours?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

:: announcement people! ::

i have launched a new blog dedicated for food.

but, please don't expect me to update 'that' often necause i didn't cook that often yeah?hehe. it's just to help me to keep the recipes that i feel worth keeping in one place. :D

the webbie : http://shazaharin.blogspot.com
enjoy ya.. (baru ada satu entry on food. nanti² i cari kalau² ada gambar food yang lain okay?)

Friday, March 20, 2009

:: amin fahmiku sayang.. ::

today is his 100th day of passing.

semoga Allah sentiasa memelihara anak mommy, amin di alam barzakh. semoga Allah mempertemukan kembali mommy, daddy, afiq and adib dengan amin di syurga.

mommy telah lama redha dengan pemergian amin. kerana telah ditentukan oleh Allah, itulah yang terbaik untuk amin. memang semasa mengandung, itulah yang mommy doakan. berikan yang terbaik..... dan yang terbaik untuk amin - kembali kepada Pencipta kita.

alhamdulillah, pusara amin dah pun daddy sempurnakan. walaupun itu semua lahiriah semata², tapi itulah tanda kasih mommy and daddy kepada amin selain kiriman fatihah, yassin, tahlil dan kunjungan ke pusara amin setiap minggu selagi mampu.

alfatihah buat amin sayang. semoga bertemu lagi kita di syurga. semoga amin menjadi pemberat kepada amalan mommy dan daddy di hari hisab kelak. amin!

:: rasa bersalah ::

hari ini saya rasa sangat bersalah.

no. 1
saya agak lalai dalam menjaga anak saya. seharusnya saya meletakkan dia di atas tilam selepas dia nyenyak tidur. tetapi saya juga tertidur. akhirnya, anak saya pada pagi tadi telah jatuh katil. saya masih teringat lagi tangisan adib. bagaimana saya boleh lalai????

no. 2
saya sangat² teringin membantu orang dalam mencari ilmu. kelmarin, sahabat di pejabat ingin meminjam nota saya untuk menduduki peperiksaan pada hari selasa nanti. saya sudah mengemaskan nota² yang patut. tetapi sehingga ke hari ini, saya masih terlupa untuk membawanya ke pejabat.

no. 3
saya ada terima pesanan dari sahabat di pejabat lama melalui YM. dia bertanyakan kepada saya samada saya masih mengingati salah seorang bos di pejabat lama. pastinya saya ingat, dan sambil itu saya membuat lawak dengan dia, lantaran saya tahu sahabat saya adakalanya tidak ngam dengan bosnya. tetapi, lawak saya mati begitu sahaja apabila diberitakan mengenai pemergian bosnya yang agak mengejut. beliau meninggal semasa sedang bermain badminton bersama² kawan sepejabat. saya harus lebih bijak membaca apakah yang akan disampaikan kepada saya selepas satu soalan diajukan.

sekian edisi rasa bersalah saya.

maafkan saya jika saya bersalah kepada anda.

ps - saudari kay dora, saya telah mencuba petua yang anda berikan kepada saya. alhamdulillah, telah ada kemajuan.

apa pendapat anda sekiranya saya menulis dalam bahasa melayu sepenuhnya? tidak rojak?

comelkan? :D

saya adalah bekas pembahas sekolah dalam bahasa melayu. seharusnya saya gilap semula bakat sediada! (sila jangan muntah darah ye?)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

:: break kejap ::

am taking a break from lecture notes preppy. (though i constantly take a break) nope, i haven't change my profession yet, but this lecture notes is part of my 'menjalankan tugas dari masa ke semasa'. but last year aku masukkan jek dalam SKT (read~KPI). i'm supposed to deliver my lecture next month kat kelantan. my mom said that she wanted to follow me, so i have to check whether she's really serious about it. guess she wanted to get some stuff for my bro's upcoming wedding, scheduled in june.

smalam, adib pulak buat hal. mengigau ke hape ke, i pun tak tau. menangis gila² during the wee hours. fuh.. the verdict : mommy tak sedar pagi tadi for sahur. (i was planning to fast today) terpaksa la cancel puasa. huhu. i can't remember what's the return period (ARI - nama pun engineer) for this mengigau thingy. hm. i just hope that they'll overcome this problem fast. kesian tengok.

esok, kalau tak salah kiraan aku la, is amin's 100th day of passing. lately both me and hubby sangat² teringatkan arwah, that sometimes, ..... terbayang muka dia masa tengah solat. TOH kata dia teringat the moment dia pangku amin for mandi jenazah. sangat lembut bila imam mandikan dia. mommy sudah redha dengan pemergian amin. i feel sangat puas hati sebab kubur amin dah kami sempurnakan. alhamdulillah. and yesterday, i surf around the net to look for some info on stillbirth, and yeah, dia kata pretty much dr susah nak determine the causes. ada satu kes mat saleh nih aku baca, dia tetiba rasa anak dia tak gerak. bila dia gie hospital, dr kata dah takde. bila (aku rasa dia buat post-mortem kot) dr check the reasons, anak dia ada banyak health problem. hole in the heart, bla,bla. and she said that she know that should her son made it, he might have to live poorly looking at his health condition. Maha Suci Allah, Allah Maha Besar, Dia lebih tahu apa yang terbaik untuk semua hamba-Nya.

dr dah bagi tau i, should i get preggy again, my A&C is gonna be different. i kena go through IUGR (tak surf lagi, nanti² ada masa carik apa ke mende nih), Group B Strep test, etc. tawakkal jek la.

okay la. nk sambung mengadap notes balik. da!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

:: birthday wishlist tag by ummul aqeem - i like! ::

birthday ku lambat lagi. tapi rasanya boleh jek tepek, so that it can be a hint to my loved ones. ahaks!

The rules :
1) Make a list of what u want on your birthday
2) The list should be 10 numbers
3) Post the image of this award to your posting
4) Give it to 10 frens of yours

here are my 10 wishlists:

mohon dipanjangkan usia yang bermanfaat dan dimurahkan rezeki serta dilimpahi dengan kebahagian. mohon kesihatan yang baik untuk diri sendiri dan seisi keluarga. amin.

harap² dapat tengok 2 lines lagi, if u get what i mean. wallahualam, i'm not sure whether i'll ever conceive again.

nak improvise rumah. hm. make it better for living.

more holidays and trips!

new handbag(s). agak materialistik. :P

nak kuruskan badan. either someone sponsor me the slimming sessions, or just get me the cheaper solution - wii fit! sangat menarik.

new wardrobe! sbb i'm my baju dah shrink. :P

paid leave. :D

i can't think of anything else!

so i'll just stop at 8. :D

kena tag 10 orang.. mereka ialah:

1. LG
2. kay
3. amri z
4. izzah i
5. adzra aka CK
6. masturr
7. aweng
8. rhapsody
9. nard
10. linie

:: blogger tegar ::

internet kat opis, a lil bit haywired. i can't surf blogspots pages. so, i kinda miss my new layout blog. muahaha. talking about blogger tegar. :P sanggup surf kat tepon kenit just nak baca comments. nak reply thru fon tak best.

lately, afiq n adib tak berapa nyenyak la tido. i'm not sure why. but perhaps the new arrangement in our bedroom is the main reason. sbbnya, aircond kena direct kat diorang. maybe they feel too cold. but then, i normally switched the aircond off after they fell asleep. maybe panas? ntah la. hope they'll get back to their ryhthm back.

yesterday, TOH treated me with a great dinner. we were supposed to dine at marche but then they didn't cater for ala carte yesterday. (yesterday was - eat all u can day).mommy was on diet, so we all head to itallianies. we actually dined there before, but frankly we didn't enjoy it much. anyway, tq dear for the thoughts and dinner.

his birthday is coming up soon. i haven't got any ideas yet on what to buy. any suggestion?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

:: wall paper baru ::

dah boring dengan cat lama kat blog nih. so what do u think? thanx to pn masturrr for the tutorial. u're one typical lecturer. hehe.

lepas nih, mas tolong tepek tutorial camana nak buat script untuk strikethrough pulak yeah? i mmg buta IT. setakat pakai wizard dan seangkat, i terer (nak gak puji).

tima kasih pn masturrr!

:: four things ::

i found this useful info at http://rozzan.blogspot.com, and i'd love to share this with all..

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:

1) Four things that make your body sick:-

a)Excessive talking
b)Excessive sleeping
c)Excessive eating and
d)Excessive meeting/outing with people

2) Four things that destroys the body:-

b)Sorrow (Sadness/Grief)
d)Sleeping late at night

3) Four things that make the face looking dull and haggard:-

b)Being disrespectful/impudent (knowingly)
c) Baseless arguements
d)Excessive immorality (committing sins without fear)

4) Four things that make the face glow and shine:-

a) Piety
b) Loyalty
c) Generosity and kindness
d)Helpful to others without being asked

5) Four things make the Rizqi (Sustenance) stop:-

a) Sleeping till late in the morning (from Fajr to sunrise)
b) Not Performing Fardhu or Irregular in Prayers
c) Laziness/Idleness
d) Treachery/Dishonesty

6) Four things that bring/increase the Rizqi:-

a) Staying up in the night in prayers
b) Excessive Repentance
c) Regular Charity
d) Zikr (Remembrance of Allah)

The Holy Prophet (SAW), also said to communicate to others even if it is just One Verse (Ayaah), for this one verse will stand out on the Day of Judgment for intercession.
Allah Hu Alam.

The Holy Prophet (SAW) said,

" Stop doing everything during the Azaan, even if you are reading the Quran. The person who talks during the Azaan will not be able to say the Kalima Shahada on his/her death bed".

.............so be careful, do not to make this mistake!!!

:: groggy ::

sangat malas mahu bekerja. kebiasaannya sindrom ini hanya datang sekiranya aku hendak pergi bercuti, tetapi entah mengapa kali ini sindrom itu tidak hilang². dakah ini dikatakan post-holiday blues? ngee

well, actually heaps of my to do list can't be done, none due to me. so, aku nak buat camana kan? (dalam hati suke!)

the other half (TOH) drove me to office this morning because i was too groggy to drive. afiq didn't get a good sleep last night. bad dreams perhaps. he cried almost other hours that i finally picked him up and put him to sleep at the family hall. fuh. sangat menduga kesabaran kerana dia menangis sambil tido. adeh.

TOH is expected to 'fly' again next week. crossing my fingers it won't hit our weekends. because i hate weekends without him, because it'll be hard for me to go to amin's pusara and the boys susah sket nak dapat outing with mommy alone. (read ~ mommy masih tidak berapa confident untuk membawa mereka ke gym atau playground w/o TOH around)

okay la kawan². take good care. salam!

Monday, March 16, 2009

:: asimilasi - apa kaitan? ::

tension dalam gembira.

suka dalam duka.

result PTK aku dah kuar.

alhamdulillah, satu cun, satu hampir cun.

tapi aku dah terlepas dateline untuk re-sit yang hampir cun.

dan lepas nih, PTK itu akan menggunakan format baru.

format baru memerlukan aku untuk sit both paper walaupun satu dapat cun.


* cun -4, hampir cun -3, agak cun -2, tidak cun -1

org gomen pasti paham.

:: normal weekend = great nasi ayam + disastrous brownies ::

a normal weekend.

we started our weekend by attending the long awaited wedding - ja's and partner in melawati. managed to meet old buddies yang dah lama tak jumpa. in short, it was a beautiful ceremony. i love the pelamin loads! sangat chanteq! congrates to ja and hubby.

that evening, masak nasi ayam for dinner. why nasi ayam? that's my boys' favourite. sampai terhirup² kuah, enjoying the food. so secara tak langsung, mommy dia pun kena la makan nasi ayam, though i tak berapa sgt nasi ayam nih. sbbnye dah jemu makan nasi ayam masa skolah, every wednesday for lunch. sambil tuh buat brownies, choc walnut brownies. dan outcome : brownies ku HANCO! kenapakah? sampling yang aku buat does not represent what's on site. bley? dah test sana sini, i thought dah masak. and dek kerakusan diri sendiri, bila diterbalikkan brownies dari pan - grrr.. ia terpecah! hampagas! so mommy told daddy - part tak hanco kita makan. pasrt hanco mommy buat triffle. org lain buat triffle pakai sponge cake, aku pakai brownies. amek!

sunday - lepak umah MIL. after zohor, we all gerak gi JJ cari cadar, since now tgh sale. pastuh pergi pulak KLCC merayap. the verdict : mommy tak sempat masak dinner. dinner kat delifrance sahaja. sbb kalau nak balik baru masak, alamatnya malam aa baru makan. kesian kat budak kenit 2 org tuh.

malam tadi the boys were not sleeping well. perhaps the new bedroom arrangement buat diorang rasa uncomfy sbb aircond direct kena the boys. alahai. kena pakai socks la lepas nih. kalau tak pun on timer for aircond.

i actually nak kata tak busy, busy la gak. naka kata busy, tak busy gak. monday blues kot..

merapu meraban.. :P okay la all. take care!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

:: sharing my journey towards conception with the twins ::

i'm trying to blog with afiq on my lap. he decline to have his morning nap, while adib has already starts his dream (read ~ sleep) (i finally put afiq down, as i keep on 'haip!' every other letter i type. haha!)

what to tell? what to share?

one of my blog reader requested me to email her my share of story ~ my journey towards conception and having my own kids. i believe i actually had one entry before, but i can't remember when. so tak pe la, since i pernah cakap to my hubby, i'd love to share my story with anyone, and lend a helping hand and advises to lift spirit up.

it all started after a year and half of marriage, after returning from my master's degree. my mom went bising to me, asking me to have check ups bla bla since i haven't conceive yet. so after much persuassion, i went to my GP to get referral letter (since hubby's company cover untuk infertility investigation.) but the answer was then, 'u baru jek kawen. there's nothing to worry about.'

but then, i can't remember when, i pursuade jugak dr tuh utk kasi referral letter. and i had my first examination kat satu private hospital with a lady gynae. so masa tuh, dia discover i ada endometriosis.

at that time, i didn't do much reading/research on my own penyakit that i endured. i ended up depending on the dr's advise solely. she advised me to perform IUI - a form of conception procedure - less expensive than IVF without having my problem treated. i did that twice. and yeah, none was successful.

i feel at that time, i can't go on with this gynae. i went to another gynae - so called FAMOUS one. he said, i need to go through laparatomy (open cut) to remove the cyst. before i decided to go through that, i asked for second opinion from a dr yang amalkan perubatan alternatif tapi moden & islamic. he suggested the same thing. he said if i tak perform this operation, i might lose my rahim totally. so i have no choice, i went through the laparatomy - painful okay!

6 months later, i dtg buat check up lagi sekali, he ended up telling me i still had my cyst. what the heck?? aku dah go through sucha painful procedure and he's telling me that? again? i dah mula hilang percaya kat ini dr. i decided i wanted another opinion from another gynae. so this time i went damansara fertility centre in uptown damansara (now TMC kat kota damansara).

yes, dr kata i ada lagi that cyst, and masa tuh stage 4. stage 4 - severe. he suggested that i performed keyhole surgery - less painful + fast recovery. he said, he can't comment on what the previous dr has done. so i buat la jugak this keyhole surgery. memang cepat baik - 1 week i dah masuk opis balik.

kat klinik nih la, i finally decided to go through IVF. first attempt unsuccesful. dia kata my ovum was very poor, that it didn't reflect my age at all. 2 months after the first IVF, i made another attempt with maximum dose ubat segala. alhamdulillah, that one - FRUITFUL. i manage to conceive a pair of twin boys.

but one thing to share on IVF thingy - it ain't as easy as we thought it could be. hari² kena inject perut for 1 - 1.5 months - (sendiri buat. but in my case, my hubby was my dr and my nurse) bukan satu injection, tapi 2-3 depending on time and jenis ubat yang kena amik. that injection kena amik pagi, at the same time every day. mmg menduga kesabaran sesangat. my perut went lebam² because of the injections.

pregnancy pun agak teruk. morning sickness (why do they call it morning sickness when i get it 24-7?) during the first trimester. bleeding, threatened abortion, bleeding masa first trimester, bed rest for the first three months.. name it. i had it all. tapi demi nak kan anak, i sabarkan hati and waded through. i mean after all efforts, i definitely hope it'll be safe and smooth.

32 weeks later, i gave birth to beautiful, adorable twin on 17 august 2007 on my mother's 53rd birthday, and on my bro in law's wedding day. beautiful and bless - perhaps that's the best way to express how i feel.

8 months later - i was surprised by the two lines, again.. :D that one - DIY punya baby. dr cakap - infertility nih susah sgt nak diexplain. but that pregnancy was the chosen one. anak yang dikandung dipanggil Ilahi hours short befor his so called birthday.

itulah journey aku serba sket. macamana aku dan hubby diduga.

but supports from family and friends sangat² membantu. i remember one beautiful advise from my old buddy from school. in short kata dia cam gini. <
we have to do all that we can do. so that, if u're destined not to have any child, u won't regret not doing things that u can do. u can walk, and put your head high, saying 'i've tried my best'
that keeps me moving and never give up hope. so, all in all, it took me more or less a year and a half of in and out hospital, befor afiq and adib finally arrived in my arms.

hope this could give some insight to those battling with infertility. to others, don't make life harder for them, for infertility itself is hard enough. janganlah dibebankan kawan² u all yang striving for babies dengan kata² yang sangat² menyakitkan. trust me, i've gone through that, and at times, they come from ridiculous persons.

in short, find supportive friends. read and research. do what u should and can do. most of all, never forget to pray. (bagi yang muslim, cubalah amalkan 2 ayat terakhir dari surah at-taubah sebagai pengiring doa)

hang in there yeah! knowing u're not alone is IMPORTANT.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

:: i love them ::

~ i love these two snaps (and the boys, of course) a lot! ~

model biskut hup seng

model biskut hup seng sambil minum susu dalam botol

~ and i love him too.. ~ (blush)

:: congrates kak long ::

congrates cuz - hidayah on your superb performance in SPM. almost a strike!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

:: 200th post - a tribute to my late son, abdullah amin fahmi ::

3 months ago, this time, this date.. i was in the labour room, going through the labour process to deliver my third son, amin fahmi. (that was the initial name that we have think off, but i requested hubby to add abdullah later because he was the selected one.) but the delivery process is a special one, i'm delivering a stillborn baby, who passed away few hours short before his so called birthday.

it has never been easy to forget the tragedy. at times, i could just simply stare to the blank walls, replaying the memories with him. his sommersaults in my tummy, cravings that i had when carrying him, the labour room, the dr's room, the a&c. it's all beautiful moment with him.

during my pregnancy with him, i always think how am i going to cope with 3 kids. i always feel afraid that i might not be able to do my best, losing my patience, etc. but the day my other half took him from my arms in the labour room, after spending my only bonding session with him, i feel completely lost. i feel miserable, i feel lonely, i feel i actually haven't done my best to take care of him, when actually i should know that Allah has a better plan for him and me.

he brought a short joy to my life. i accidentally called afiq as amin, as he looks so much alike. i'll never forget the softness of his skin. his beautiful long fingers. he's one tall guy if he made it to this world.

i haven't finish packing his stuff that i've bought to receive him. they are all still in the 'labour bag' that i packed months ago before i deliver. the only thing that i've sealed in a clear plastic bag was his only pyjama that he wore the day he was born and passed away, his white thermal blanket, his long sleeve t-shirt that the other half bought in UK with 'little brother' on it, and passed down MU jerseys from his twin brothers.

i miss him every minute of my life. he's part of me. today, insya Allah, his pusara will be ready. we've bought the tree to be planted to his grave. i want it to be perfect for him.

i always pray to Allah to let me meet him back in jannah. i always pray to Allah, that all of us, me, hubby, and all my children will meet again in jannah, where we'll never be parted again.

i always pray to Allah to be given a better replacement of him. and i always pray to Allah that amin will be taken care of perfectly in alam barzakh. and i always pray to Allah, not to take any of my child anymore. that's my doa.

my weekend schedule has changed abruptly after his passing. visiting his grave every weekend in the morning is our priority. where we run away from his brothers for a while to spend some quiet quality time together reciting yassin at his grave. yes, i'm now a frequent visitor at tanah perkuburan klang gate. i made it a point as much as i can to use this route to and fro office, so that i could always peek at his grave. that helps me to manage my rindu.

i miss him dearly. i can never deny that. but knowing there are many other people who were tested more than me, makes me feel contented. i should bersyukur with what i have. i have to paint what i have well, so that they will also meet their brother in jannah.

for now, just let me immerse myself with the memories i have with my beloved amin.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

:: from a distracted mind ::

curik masa sikit blogging kat opis.

wow, entertaining 2 boys at 1.5 year-old can really drain u out. no, i'm not complaining but rather i feel very contented and blessed for being given a chance to do so, despite hard works (don't get your mind dirty yeah.. i really mean hard work) to get pregnant.

yeah, we waited for a long 4 years before i finally become a mother. it was a long journey, full of stress but alhamdulillah, it turned out to be fruitful. i was overjoyed and actually till now, i'm overjoyed by their presence. their presence to my life makes me feel so complete.

perhaps, kesusahan untuk mengandung itu buat diri aku lebih appreciate or perhaps overprotective to my sons. i can't bear listening people say bad things (i consider kata² negatif itu bad, as what we say is doa right?) to my kids. i may sound pathetic, but guess, i picked them up from my very own experiences.

i can never tell how nice it feels, when my sons finally call me 'mommy'. those sweet little voices, memang meruntun jiwa. it really touched the base of my heart.

after the tragedy of dec 11, 2008, when i loss my unborn son, i terlupa sekejap the happiness that i've got. the happiness that Allah has grant me a year and a half ago. syukurlah ada insan² budiman yang sentiasa mengingatkan diri saya tentang tanggungjawab yang sediada. yang pergi sudah pasti pergi, dan yang pergi itu pasti di syurga. sedang yang di dunia ini masih belum pasti.

i've one particular thing that i really want to blog about. tentang kenapa dan mengapa aku ingin berhenti kerja. kenapa aku terlalu ingin nak jaga anak sendiri tanpa mendatangkan kesusahan kepada sesiapa. nantilah, kalau masa mengizinkan. vause i know, if i blog about that particular thing, i'll go teary and i would take ages to finish up my entry.

anyway, i've got a oops not a, but THREE presentations to be done. 2 lectures, and one for meeting. i really should be doing those. for i'm being paid to do so.

anyway, government staff do work. jangan ingat they all tak buat keje ok? take care all. salam

Saturday, March 7, 2009

:: bapak dia pulak demam ::

one after another. memlua afiq adib demam panas. they've recovered. skang bapak dia pulak demam. hopefully, i won't get the bugs. since tekak masing² mintak dimanja, so today kena la aku masak 'soft gentle' food. asked my other half, pasta okay ka? he said no. then, tanya, kalau cantonese fried kuey teow? he said yes. so masak kuy teow jek lerr gua ari nih. tapi yang pandainya, semua barang dah siap beli. satu tertinggal. and thatis the kuey teow. terlalu tuakah aku sampai lupa??

dalam demam², still gak kena wat houseworks kan? other half is not around, gie hanto kereta cuci sebab dah terlalu kepam. dulu masa memula beli, kemain semangat amik kaler putih, sbb nampak sporty. hah. padan muka skang. nasib baik la keta yang satu lagik kalaer memang dah sedia kepam - read : sahara brown. so tak pening sgt kalau tak basuh. janji dalam kereta mau clear. :D walaupun aku pada hakikatnya anti kereta kotor.

result spm akan kuar next week. apa kaitan ngan aku? ada kaitan. adik ipar will take his result, so do my dear cuz yang i stay with us masa baby (oooooh, sudah tuakah aku?) hopefully, both of u will pass with flying colours. i know u can!

apa lagi mau cerita? i haven't make a proper entry on my holiday. nanti la bila i dah ada a bit of free time. nak cerita mende² cenggini memerlukan kepala yang lega tahap optimum, baru best memblogging. :D

anyway, the boys dah banyak progress sekarang. sudah pandai cakap sket², and sudah pandai panjat keluar dari play pen dia. ya ampun! lasak sungguh lately!

take care all. have a nice weekend. kepada yang terbang ke kota kinabalu (anda tahu siapa anda) jangan lupa bawakan ole² yang mengerlip² untuk haku. :D

Friday, March 6, 2009

:: first preggy - tagged by mama rayyan ::

Here you go moms - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born! Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself!Let's see how much you remember!

yes. conceived through high technology procedure - IVF

mestila babe. nak kena bunuh ngan mak bapak?

anxious, nervous. takut miscarriage lagi

masa pregnant aku 27 thn..

mmg schedule untuk check pregnancy pun after procedure

my mum

pretty much, yes.was hoping for a pair. a girl and a boy

6 oct 2007

17 august 2007. awalkan?

1.9 and 1.77 kg each.

sgt teruk. 24-7!

haha. kuih loyang/kuih ros.

nothing much.


i was hoping for a pair. but i'm contented



i didn't had any

yes. threatened abortion. bleeding masa first trimester

ampang putri

sgt sekejap. c-sect




yes. doses of morphin

afiq hazman, adib hazim

1 yr 6 months 17 days

:: tag susah ::

ni nak jawab tag from mama rayyan..

Copy the questions below. Simply use the first letter of your name/nickname as your answer for each questions. You can't use any answer twice and don't use your own name for questions # 3 & 4. After you're done, tag 10 people.

1. What is your name? aishah
2. A four letter word: amah (kahkahkah)
3. A boy's name : afiq, adib, amin
4. A girl's name : annisa
5. An occupation : architecture
6. A color : amethyst
7. Something you wear : applemint jeans
8. A type of food : a
9. Something found in the bathroom : a toothbrush (boleh?)
10. A place : australia
11. A reason for being late : aku bangun lambat
12. Something you shout : adoi!
13. A movie title : a walk to remember
14. Something you drink : air sirap bandung (sedapnya)
15. A musical group : Iglu & Hartly
16. A street name : andaman 3 :D
17. A type of car : astina (klasik ok)
18. A song title : aku cinta padamu.. (cheewah!)
19. A verb : ask

aku nak tag ayin! ngehngeh.. sure pengsan ayin nak jawab with z all around. u go gurl!

:: msia tetap best ::

told the other half that i'd blog about this experience that we encountered at the check in counter in sydney airport.

for first timer in blog, let me introduce myself. i'm a mother to twin boys. so i, at times travel with my double stroller to chauffeur my boys around.

in kl, we were allowed to push the stroller up to in front of the plane's door, before we hand it over to the crews for check in. how beautiful msia is.

but what happened in sydney was the other way round. they allow for single strollers to be pushed up to front door, but not double strollers. so, we have to check in pur strollers at the oversize luggage counter and carry our boys around.

so, bila dah kena check in gitu, sah² la haku tak dapat collect my strollers depan flight masa turun kan? kena la amik kat oversize luggage counter gak masa turun kat klia. so, can u imagine bejalan dr island terminal to main terminal with no strollers, while carrying babies, as well as hand luggage? (though hakikatnya hand luggage aku family members yang angkut. nasib baik ada family members ye) mana rational dia tak bagi pakai double stroller?

hangin satu badan makcik okay! udah la check in process took more than one hour! yeah blink hard, it took us more than an hour! settle around 5 mins before departure. katanya, they can't find my son's name dalam booking. tapi yang carrier ada. laki aku cakap they asked him, 'why you're not in the same booking no?' laki aku dalam hati kata 'your hardship in checking us in is not my concern'. tapi sebab dia mulut manis, dia cakap ;there was a change of plan'. bab tuh panjang sket cerita nya. but anyway, bayangkan betapa kelam kabutnya kitorang nak masuk dalam flight. mananya nak clear imigration sydney yang super duper strict. hangin gila badan! belum lagi sampai time aku masuk plane pastu tgk instead of dapat dua bassinet, aku dapat satu jek, walaupun dah clearly book ahead of time. perhaps, org yang buat ticketing tak clear yang aku nih bawak twins despite being told that i need two bassinets, and they're supposed to know well the arrangement of bassinet seats dalam flight. nasib baik la, stewardess kat situ buat damage control, carikan four seats in a row yang kosong so that i could let my boys lie down if they fell asleep.

frankly speaking, this is the worst check in process + procedures that i've encountered through out my travelling experience. agaknya la kan, kalau parents ngan triplets, yang push stroller ada tiga seats, travelling only with parents and the triplets, camana agaknya mak bapak dia nak handle kalau tak bagi push stroller? anyone in aviation who can explain this rational to me?

sesungguhnya, malaysia masih no. 1 dalam hatiku. they perhaps can learn from us as well.

luahan hati manusia yang penah dok obersea tapi masih rasa msia best.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

:: afiq adib demam ::

i was not supposed to be on leave, but looking at my boys, i decided to abandone work. both are down th high fever, perhaps due to overheating while we're on holiday. (yeah, it was freaking hot, when it is supposed to be autumn)

but honestly speaking, i didn't enjoy my holiday much, due to certain things. however, i still feel happy that i've got the chance to bond with my two bundle of joys.

i'll try to find time to blog on some procedures that we encountered during the check in process. in the meanwhile, i just don't have the mood to blog because i hm.. shall i say it's personal.

okay la. (i know this is not typical me who have just return from a week) take care