:: afiq dan jeles ::

hari nih nak cerita pasal afiq adib yang dah makin lorat. sangat lorat dan adakalanya sangat loyar buruk.

afiq in particular, sangat minat dengan muzik. TETAPI dia tak pandai nyanyi. mmg kesian sangat kalau dengar dia nyanyi. tak pe, tak pandai nyanyi tak pe, yang penting pandai mengaji!

anyway, kalau nyanyi lagu kat diorang, i selalu tukau lirik. ikut sedap mulut mak dia nak nyanyi macamana.

for instance.. lagu iken kekek..

ikan kekek mak iloi-iloi
ikan gelama mak ilai-ilai
dapat baby comelnya amboi
tapi afiq jeles sangat

(read : afiq memang kuat jeles)

so, he got interested with the tune, and has been repetetively asked me tos ig that song, till it reaches one moment when he say:

MOMMY, NAK NYANYI LAGU IKAN KEKE (takde k) TAPI TAMAU BABY.

wakakkakakaka.

lepas tuh, i sang the same song to adib..

and adib's reply:

ADIB TAK JELES

:D ngeeee!

like yesterday, we had our brekkie at in law's house. afiq sat on my lap in the car on the way to in law's house. as usual, he'll put his arm on the arm rest aka my tummy. it happened that the baby was making some move and he could feel it. terus pandang perut, and i explain to him, "baby tengah jalan dalam perut mommy." and guess what is his reaction? tak letak tangan dah atas perut!!! mak aiii, jeles sapa ko dapat nih fiq?

:: simptom bosan kronik ::

simptom bosan kronik.

1. bila bukak status updates dalam facebook, takde sapa pun update.
2. bila bukak bloglist, takde satu pun update baru.
3. bila counter statistik game dalam handfon mencapai angka 400 hits dalam tempoh 2-3 hari.
4. bila baca surat khabar sampai ulang 2-3 kali.
5. bila tengok buku cerita dah tau apa ending dia.
6. bila siang, paksa diri tidur.
7. yang lebih haru lagi, bila terpaksa buat semua nih dalam masa 5 hari seminggu untuk tempoh 5 minggu berturut-turut.

ps - dr, boleh tak saya cancel MC? saya rasa saya nak berkhidmat kepada negara. apatah lagi hati saya sakit bila ada yang secara direct cakap depan mata, kepala, telinga, mulut dan hidung saya kerja government nih relaks berbanding dengan kerja di syarikat-syarikat milik kerajaan. saya pasti kawan-kawan saya di ofis akan turut membelasah orang yang berkata demikian.

:: pengemis ::

aku tidak pernah meminta darimu,
segunung intan dan emas,
untuk melingkari tubuh.

aku tidak pernah meminta darimu,
seribu satu kemewahan,
untuk selesa dengan hidup.

aku tidak pernah meminta darimu,
walau seurat sutera,
untuk memperindah lenggang dan lenggokku.

aku hanya mengemis sedikit kasih,
aku hanya menganyam harapan bahagia,
aku hanya memohon secebis senyum,
aku hanya mengimpikan seindah waktu.

tapi mungkin,
yang diimpi tak tergapai dek tangan,
tak tercapai dek hidup.

mungkin benar kata teman,
pelangi akan terbit,
jika kita gembira dengan gerimis,
tanpa mengharap hujan yang menderu.

sedarlah wahai diri,
kita hanyalah seorang pengemis,
di pesisir hidup ini.

:: pregnancy update at 34 weeks ::

officially a 34 weeker pregnant lady. at least another 2 weeks to go before hitting full term.

last few months, my gynae referred me to a physioterapist after i complained on pain at my hips when it involves movement. after few session and exercise, i manage to get over it and gets better.

and after that, malas took its role, that i stopped the exercise and pretty mch act like a non pregnant woman. naik turun tangga, angkat barang, dukung anak while travelling and lotsa walking around. ha, skarang nih padan muka.. sakit gila hokay! tu la, aunty jiran tuh dah cakap don't dukung anak, aku degil..

sakit tuh is at around pubic bone area. last check up, i relate it to the dr and informed her that i could even hear tulang tuh berbunyi-bunyi especially when i tossed around in bed and tried to wake up from lying down position. dr had a check and said dah swolen.. and she can even feel the tulang is moving. and that explained the pain. dia cakap things will get worst, and next would be sakit belakang, which aku dah mula rasa. she said, i shall walk like a penguin, which i really did to balance out my body weight as the bone dah tak stable.

so she advised me to have some ice packs and tuam la kunun2 utk kurangkan bengkak. patutnya dah kena pakai pregnancy belt to support my tummy, but since sakit tuh cuma masa baring and i pun dah nak masuk final trimester, i rasa tak perlu. so i religiously for the past 2 days pakai ice packs and syukur it has shown some improvement.

dr cakap, this may be the effects of previous twin pregnancy and c-sect. pubic bone tak close properly due to heaviness. tu la pengorbanan kecil wanita yang bergelar ibu, yang takkan mungkin lelaki rasa kan? alangkah untungnya wanita dan ruginya lelaki yang tidak tahu menghargai isteri yang mengandung. :D

cakap pasal takut nak bersalin nih, aku rasa semua org perempuan macam tuh. tak sabar nak bersalin tapi takut nak bersalin pastuh nak cepat habis pantang bagi yang betul2 ikut pantang larang tradisional. aku kalau time bersalin, paling fobia masa nurse nak check opening. adoiiiiiiii. can't they think of something else that's less painful? aku rela kena cucuk bagai, but not that one. seriously.

aku doa sangat proses mengandung dan bersalin aku kali ni dipermudahkan. aku rasa aku ni dah banyak sangat susahkan orang. sampaikan aku fikir, kalaulah masa aku nak terberanak tuh aku sengsorang kat umah with no one who can drive to send me to hospital, aku harap sangat aku diberi kekuatan utk boleh drive safely and calmly without causing chaos to anyone. seriously! sebab aku dah banyak kali kena 'sound' selalu menyusahkan orang.

err, anyway, today baby kurang aktif sket gerak, but so far count cukup. so i shall continue tp monitor its movement. dah pregnant 3 kali baru tau and faham cemana nak monitor fetal movement. first time preggy tak sempat buat, babies dah nak kuar tgk dunia awal. second time i memang tatau sebab dr tak cakap, and third time after being told by my friend who was at that time carrying her first child. :D jangan ingat org dah mengandung banyak kali tuh dah cukup ilmu di dada...... ;)

okayla peeps. it's extremely late already. want to catch my night sleep.

ps - current weight : 64.9kg additional 0.5 kg in 2 weeks time. total weight gained up to date - 13.9kg. agak sikit berbanding previous pregnancy which recorded a total of plus minus 20kgs!

:: killing time ::

hoihhhhhhh.. sangapnye kena memerap kat rumah for 2 weeks, and it will continue for the next three weeks.. dah habis kering kontang idea apa nak buat kat rumah nih. nak buat housework tak boleh.. nak pegi shopping - RESTRICTED. nak pegi jejalan tak boleh drive. the 'outest' world that i could get is my homebound journey - melawati to ampang, twice a day - bosan hokay! nd dibosankan lagi dengan sang suami yang tak penah balik awal for teh past two weeks and daku dah berhenti mengharap bila dia nak balik awal. paling awal sampai umah pun 6.40pm. bayangkan seharian kat rumah with nothing to do, i can seriously go mad and insane!

today, i kill my time wth sleeping. yeah you read me right! SLEEPING. laptop on tapi gua terbongkang. lepas tuh, zohor then bersihkan the kids. when i say bersihkan, it involves earwaxing, lpeas tuh potong kuku. since kuku dah potongkan semalam, hari nih tinggal telinga saje. kalau masa babies dulu, i also did their hair trimming, tapi bila dah besar nih, hantar kedai saje.

i've packed up my labour bag, 90% siap. tinggal a few books and receiving blankie jek nak masukkan. apa lagik? owh, i still have one more thing in my to do list which is to sort out my kids' punya baju. i'm done with theirs untuk babies and 1 yr plus clothing, and we ended up with many, many bags! imagine everything times two, from mittens to booties to caps to shirts to tshirts, etc and i'm thinking to hand it over to others.

toys pun dah siap sort out. those 'babies' toys dah diasingkan, tinggal the one yang current sajek. i've to do that in order to know what is in hand and to avoid wastage.

novels pun ak dah tak larat nak baca. tv mmg bukan my interest. so please readers, any suggestion on how to kill time? :P

ps - owh, i so look forward for my next appointment with the dr. as that's the only time i can really enjoy 'fresh air' outside.. heh. and i miss my baking tremendously.

:: gundah di hati siapa yang tahu ::

the nearer it gets, the more unstable i become.

that's a simple statement reflecting how i feel inside me now.

i feel so alone. frankly speaking. i don't know how to communicate my fear. and i don't know to whom shall i share my fear. i know my parents try not to talk about it. mungkin tak nak aku pikir sangat, while OH is so busy with work that i could hardly find time to talk with him. hence blogging is my way.

i am now entering 34 weeks of pregnancy, and has been put on medical leave due to preavia type 2.this is my first time experience ever despite being pregnant 3 times already. so far, none pregnancy of mine is similar. each individual experience is unique, hence making me like a first time mother everytime i go through my pregnancy period.

so far, the baby is doing fine. he's a little small, and dr said that i may be prone to get small babies, based on my previous pregnancy history. yesterday's weight gain alarmed me a little bit. i only gain 0.5kg within 2 weeks and i'm not sure whether that's good or bad. but the dr said it's fine.

having going through a stillbirth delivery before really haunts me. it has never been easy. yang mampu aku buat sekarang, banyakkan mengaji dan doa agar hati jadi tenang dan dipermudah serta selamat semuanya. sometimes, aku rasa aku nih cam kena gie trauma counselling. sounds paranoid kan?

again dear readers, doakanla saya dan anak dalam kandungan selamat.

dear risau, please go away........

ps - semalam afiq tanya mommy, "mommy, baby keluar ikut mana?" he's two years and 7 mons old btw. his Q makes me smile. :D

:: risau ::

2 posts in a day. hebat. :D

just came back from A&C. alhamdulillah, doc said maybe boleh try normal, as plasenta didn't cover up the opening. syukur.

tapi i masih gundah gulana. still traumatised by previous experience. i believe semua yang pernah lalu pengalaman yang sama akan rasa benda yang sama. hopefully, semuanya selamat dan dipermudahkan.

anyway, dr extend MC lagi. :D elok gak tuh sebab dah selalu sakit2 n tak larat. sahih kalau gi keje lebih menyusahkan org dari menyenangkan.

doakanla saya dan baby selamat yea dear readers. i betul2 risau.