:: issues ::

a month to go before i start working again.

a few issues on my mind, that kind of bugging my life at the moment.

issue no. 1 : maid
i've been relying on maids pretty much. and when i say maids, i'm referring to mine and my mom's. my mom's maid has been helping me out with my kids since day 1 they were out from the hospital. so, pretty much, she has develop a good relationship with my kids especially afiq.

i've been relying on her a lot, especially when it comes to giving medicines when i'm at work, basically because my maid is illiterate. my maid doesn't know how to read, so u can imagine, dia buat susu pun main hafal takat mana air etc.

the problem is now, my mom's maid is going back for good, after working with my mom's family for like 3 years this weekend. we have build a good relationship with her, and she has tune to the way we bring up our kids. not having her around by next week, just makes me feel i'm shorthanded. it's really hard to get good ones like her, and i believe mom feels the same way too.

what i worry most is my elder son, afiq. he is too attach to her, that i'm afraid he will feel lost. what with my condition and aidin who is practically on my boobs almost other hour, i takut there'll be some negative phsychological effect on him. i've seen that kind of situation before with my youngest brother, when our maid went back for good. it's just so heartbreaking looking at a small child crying for somebody who's not around.

i just hope afiq will do fine.

issue no. 2 : weight ;P

setiap kali lepas bersalin, i've this fear of getting on the weight scale. hehe. this time round, i gained 16.1 kg roughly. to date, i've lost 9kg and i got another 7kg to shed before i hit the road to office again.

being someone who practically takde daging langsung during my younger days, it really makes me feel low. i try to stick to low fat diet. breakkie with cereal and low fat milk, lunch & dinner with a small portion of rice with fish/meat and lotsa veggies. in between meal, i snack to avoid hunger spasm, as hunger will only drive you to eat more.

hopefully it'll work. (crossing my fingers) but on a positive note, kurus sangat pun tak elok kan? (ayat sedapkan hati)

first delivery - it was pretty easy to shed off the weight. with two babies, lack of sleep - the 20kgs that i gained just dissapear.

second delivery - i ended up at 55 kgs and took me monthsssss before i arrived at 51kg.

third delivery - hoping for a good result. i just hope all this bf + careful food intake will pay off

okay la peeps. bye

:: plans after confinement ::

hari nih dah masuk hari confinement ke 28. (kalau aku tak salah kira la)

so far, masih boleh bertahan dengan lauk pauk yang tidak mengancam pedasnya, dan masih boleh survive walaupun tak dapat nak makan ikut tekak sendiri. ada jugak terbabas, sekali sekala, tapi masih di bawah kawalan, kerana semagat nak turun berat masih tebal meninggi. masih setia makan cereal ngan low fat milk in the morning. itu satu kejayaan yang di luar dugaan. belum masuk cerita aku makan sayur dengan banyaknya. hehe.

anyway, since tempoh pantang pun tinggal lebih kurang 3 mnggu jek lagik, dalam kepala dah ada banyak sangat plan. dah mula merangka apa yang nak dibuat dalam tempoh 2 minggu sebelum start keja balik. kali nih, i don't thinki can afford to take unpaid leave. komitmen pada bank agak tinggi sekarang, so tak leh nak amek unpaid leave.

apa nak buat lepas abih pantang:-
1. hair cut
2. rearrange furniture kat rumah
3. spring clean the house
4. menambah stok EBM
5. rekindle with my twin. i've been neglecting them a lot lately. i need to make some time for them. maybe a day out with them.
6. aqiqah aidin
7. rediscover my kitchen. :p
8. cuti-cuti malaysia perhaps.

tuh jek dulu. nih beria tulis apa nak buat. alih2 shopping saje yang jadi. eh, shopping takdak dalam list ke??

:: pantang ritual ::

as promised.

ritual pantang for the past 3 deliveries.

it all started when i was confirmed pregnant with my twin. my MIL introduced me to a confinement lady whom i fondly called kak nurul. kak nurul looked after my SIL throughout confinement period after she gave birth to her second daughter.

my ritual will start early in the morning. kak nurul will arrive at around half past seven and starts to prepare things. i.e. masak air mandi (letak segala mala daun yang aku seniri tak kenal), prepare the batu tungku, prepare air untuk tangas (which i convert it to sauna) and not forgetting prpeapre air mandi baby as well.

firstly, i akan ditungku. sedap hokayy. setelah malam tuh bangun tido bangun tido susukan baby, the tungku really brings some 'extra' energy to me. lepas siap tungku, kak nurul tuh akan urut, and the urut varies. kalau hari nih kaki yang sakit, kaki la lama dia urut. depending on your body at that time.

siap jek urut, she'll asked me to go for tangas (which i put it into my mom's sauna box. hehe) kadang2, lama aku duduk, kadang2 kejap jek. kalau larat lama la. kalau tak tahan ngan steam dia, i'll get off.

while i do the tangas, she'll give bath to the baby. she'll then massage the baby, and if the baby is baby boy, dia akan tuam perut and baby's penis.

after i've done my tangas, i'll go and take my bath guna air yang kak nurul dah masak. lepas mandi, here comes the part that i hate most, ikat barut. adoiiiiii.. senak perut mak.. tapi nak kurus punya pasal, and i want to get back into shape, kuharungi jugakla.. alhamdulillah, tak lari banyak la bentuk badan. (tapi stretch mark tetap adaaa). dari saiz jari kelingking tak le naik sampai ke ibu jari. :D

tu lerr cerita/aktiviti sepanjang tempoh berpantang. kalau c-sect, kena la buat nih 30 hari lebih kurang (sebab kalau csect, she'll only starts her treatment after 2 weeks of delivery).

da!

ps - saya sedang berblog sambil berbarut. duduk tegak jekkk!

:: simple things that reach the heart ::

pregnant, deliver, confinement.

these three phases are realy overwhelming and exhausting. lots of physical changes, hormone imbalances, striking balance between health, me time, baby and elder sons. it's stressful, but fulfilling.

any wife going thhrough this period needs help and support. be it from family, friends and most importantly from the spouse. help and support can come in various way. chit chatting while the wife is breastfeeding in the middle of the night is one good way, so that she won't feel alone. helping her with the elder kids, can also help her to gain some me time.

and coming across yesterday paper, on the interview with the wife of the late Achik Spin, it makes my heart melt. the way her wife described her late husband, is very touching. semoga arwah ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang memperoleh redhaNya.

okayla peeps. maybe inthe next entry, i'll share my experience of my pantang (confinement) ritual for the past 3 deliveries. nampak jek moden, tapi bab nih, i kena ikut ler apa yang direcommend oleh MIL. moga-moga akan bermanfaat di hari tua kelak.

enjoy your day.. daaa!

:: long hiatus : anybody miss me? ::

13 days - blogging mode off. that's a pretty long hiatus.

yep.

aidin has not been sleeping well for past few days, that has forced me to use the mornings for nap. frankly speaking, rasanya masa twins dulu senang lagik kot. :) maybe because the twins are preemie and didn't cry at nights. i only need to wake up 3 hourly to feed them. but this lil aidin, (since i decided toput him on breastfeeding) really loves to cling to his mommy's boob especially from 10pm t0 2.00am. mencabarrrrrrr. it's definitely 2 different experience.

alhamdulillah, afiq and adib is getting more receptive towards their lil brother. at times, they can be very brotherly, helping me out to throw dirty diapers etc. but i guess, the feeling of insecure tuh still ada. still jealous especially when it comes to sleeping. and tell ya, putting three kids to sleep at the same time can be very tough!!

but one thing i notice, my twin sekarang makin 'nakal'. i believe it's their way to attract attention, as now the limelight is on the new baby. they'll start to pour milk out from the box, celup tissue in my drinks, masukkan jarum peniti dalam botol air, buang nutella atas meja, name it!

owh i've lost my touch in writing.. banyak lagi nak ceritaa tapi cam tak jive jek my story. storyline haywire. :P guess that's all for now.

ps - i asked afiq the other day, kenapa tinggalkan i kat rumah when he went out. u know what is his answer?? "Mommy tak behave." OITTTT!

:: beautiful blogger ::

i'm not a famous blogger, and getting such an award makes me feel 'feeling-feeling' artis gituh.. :P

Rule No. 1:
Thank and link the person that gave you the award
thank you mast for the award. mast nih sorang hot mama yang sgt berdedikasi, in every single aspect of her life. and i admire her courage and willingness to pursue her pHd study no matter how hard it is while bf her lil aidan. kudos to you!

Rule No. 2:
State 7 things about yourself
1. tengah memikir dan memasang impian untuk work from home.. sangat2 mahu menjaga anak-anak sendiri tanpa mengabaikan kepakaran (ecceh) yang ada.. moga terkabul impian nak keja dari rumah but getting good amount of money.

2. kalau saya makan roti, saya akan sapukan butter serata mungkin. lepas tuh baru letaksecond spread, i.e. peanut butter or jam or kaya. roti tuh lepas tuh i lipat dua. tapi i makan keliling dia dulu, baru i makan the white ones. kata omputih, save the best for last. hehe.

3. saya amat mementingkan bentuk badan. (sila muntah) saya tidak suka pakai tshirt tapi perut nampak buncit. malangnya, saya sangat lemah apabila berhadapan dengan makanan dan sangatlah liat untuk excercise.

4. kalau saya makan buffet di mana-mana hotel, makanan yang paling saya look forward to nak makan ialah dessert. hehe. i just love desserts!!!!!!

5. saya sangat suka minum nescafe. dan memandangkan sekarang saya berpantang, dan breastfeed baby, saya terpaksa meninggalkan minuman kegemaran saya buat seketika. uhhhh, sungguh tersiksaaaa jiwa dan ragakuuuuuuuuu

6. saya tak pandai masak kari dengan sambal. pada saya, dua lauk ini sangat renyah dan mengambil masa yang lama untuk siap. maka, dengan itu, kalau suami saya nak makan kari, kami pulang saja ke rumah ibu mertua saya, kerana di situ saya boleh dapat kari ikan terbaikkkkkk di malaysia. :)

7. saya sangat suka travel. :) and that explains my yearly travel adventure. tapi jangan salah sangka yek. kami travel menggunakan resources yang limited, so lotsa research works dibuat sebelum travel.

Rule No. 3 :
Pass this award to 15 bloggers that you've discovered and think they are fantastic.
15? alamak.. ramai dah dapart award nih rasanya, but i still want to dedicate this to few:-
1. jue fauzi - for ebing so brave and strong facing the obtacles.
2. ayin - for being a beautiful friend, in and out.
3. nard - your entries make me laugh like hell.

:: dah kasik nama ::

sejak sudah bertambah bilangan anak, masa untuk fesbuking dan blogging pun makin kurang. time baby tido, time tu la nak mengemas, nak main ngan abang2 dia, nak mandi, nak makan, etc. tapi alhamdulillah, this new addition sgt mudah diurus, tak banyak ragam. syukur.

btw, baby no. 4 telah pun dinamakan. baby no. 4 now is Aidin Nasri bin Ahmad Rizal. nama tu kami refer kepada website nih www.muslimbabynames.net.

Aidin = Brilliant, Enlightened, Intelligent, Light of the Moon
Nasri = Winner of Victory after Victory

tengok sket gambar Aidin..


budak kecik ini sangat suka mandi. boleh tido dalam air.

nih adegan 'potong kek' @ hospital



dan ini, adalah gelagat abang-abang ketika melawat mommy di hospital.



:D

feeling so grateful and contented!

:: keletah afiq adib ::

meh cerita pasal afiq and adib yang semakin cheeky n curious lately.

scene 1 : rumah mak, living room

tgh ribut masa nih. petir sabung menyabung. (cam buku cerita hantu pulak) umah mak memang prone to lightning strike. there was one time yang teruk teramat sampai my mak sendiri terkejut gila kat dapur that caused adib to cry.

till now, adib fobia sangat dngan petir. and yesterday, dalam lagak2 macho dia tuh, dia nangis sebab takut. i try to calm him down, and explain kejadian hujan dalam bahasa budak2.

me : dalam cloud ada banyak air. bila air banyak, cloud pecah. hujan turun, tuh yang ada bunyi letup2 sikit. nanti bila air dah habis turun, letup (petir) pun hilang la.

afiq : kena repair kaud! (cloud). sapa nak pegi repair?

me (dalam kepala) : cemana nak jawab??

scene 2 : bilik maid

i was breastfeeding the baby. adib was sooooo curious.

adib : mommy, baby buat apa tuh?

me : baby minum susu

adib : mommy, baby gigit apa tuh?

me(dalam kepala) : i'm soooo not ready to talk ab0ut birds and bees to my kids!!

morale : pakailah nursing cover.

scene 3 : at mak's

wan : nanti petang mommy balik rumah

afiq : mommy saja balik, baby tinggal hospital.

amek kau.. jeles!

scene 4 : mak's

afiq was cranky.

afiq : mommy manje afiq, mommy tak payah manja baby.

me : afiq la manja baby.

(lagi mau sakat!)

:: the delivery journey ::

36 weeks of pregnancy
had my final A&C check up with dr seri suniza @ pcmc. previous check up @ 34 weeks, baby dah head down. so this week nak confirmkan the position and method of delivery. sebabnya i plascenta preavia (PP) type 2. doc said ada harapan nak normal sebab only the tail of the placenta ka bawah.

off we go to pcmc. BP ok, weight gain pun terrrrramat la OK. :) final weight before deliver : 66.4kg, far, far lesser than my previous pregnancies.

sekali check, baby transverse. so, no choice, kena c-sect. doc kata dah dari awal mengandung i can't go beyond 38 weeks due to previous history of still birth. so terus jek la dia suruh decide tarikh mana nak untuk c-sect.

i know it would be nice if i could choose 3/4 as the date. perfect gift for OH 32nd birthday, but then kalau amek 3/4 csect kena buat petang. big NO NO for me. sebabnya nanti lapau gilaaaa! so after much thinking (tak lama pun pikir) terus decide 2/4/2010. coincide dengan hari jumaat. 11.30am.

there it goes... the decision..

April 1st, 2010
dr suruh admit ke hospital. so off we go with the two boys, mom and maids. i tak confident nak bawak the two kids to hospital sebab takut diorang tanak balik, but mom insisted. Alhamdulillah, the kids ok, and balik dengan baiknya. syukur, anak-anak tak mengamuk that night.

by the way, we were upgraded from standard single room to junior suite sebab bilik semua penuh. rezeki anak. had a good sleep that night, waiting for the big day. frankly speaking, i rasa takut gila. i takut i won't make it. i takut my baby won't make it. masa tuh, dok fikir, apa la nasib afiq adib if i won't make it. nauzubillah..

April 2nd, 2010
the day has finally arrived. woke up for subuh prayer. hati makin berdebar and i know i must calm myself down. i recited surah maryam, mohon diberi perlindungan dan keselamatan sepanjang tempoh operation nanti.

at 10.30am roughly, i was wheeled in into OT. OH ikut sama. he'll witness the whole procedure. hati makin tenang. moga dipermudahkan segalanya.

at about 11.00am baru masuk operation theatre. i was asked to sit and bend myself. i'm clear about all these based on previous experience. tapi kali nih, dr terpaksa try banyak kali sebab i ter'jerk' time nak inject. lepas kena spine block, the dr called in my OH and the procedure begin.

masa bersalinkan the twin @ APSH, i rmember kain tirai yang ada depan my face tuh agak tinggi, so my OH couldn't see a thing except the baby. tapi kali nih, kain dia rendah jek, cukup-cukup cover my eyes from viewing and OH got the chance to witness everything. definitely an experience for him. managed to catch the procedure on video, and lepas i tengok video tuh terus cam 'itu yang kau buat kat aku??????'

baby was transverse. keluar punggung dulu, and she find it difficult to get the head out. stuck inside due to abnormal lie. yang i tau (based on the recording) she finally resorted in 'snipping' my perut a bit to get the baby out.

baby masakeluar tak nangis. doc kata dia tgh tido. within five minutes later, dengarla sore anak kecik nangis. syukur alhamdulillah.. syukur.. semua selamat..

based on previous experience, i have no allergies or reactions afteranaesthetic procedure. selalunya cuma shiver saje. but this time round, i naik gatal2. perh, layan okay!

dekat recovery room pun sekejap jek. almost 1pm, i was already in my room. about an hour later, the nursery send in my baby for his first feeding. doc informed me that my baby's glucose level is very, very low and is at risk o hypoglycemic, which kalau tak jaga dari awal may cause seizure and brain damage to the baby.

mommy mana tak risau. i fed him as i should. but the glucose level is still low and they had to to top up with formula to shoot his level up. he was under observation for few days. i continuously breastfeed him on demand, and after three days if i'm not mistaken, his glucose level is stable and is out of needle pricking..

April 5th, 2010
we both are geared up to be discharged. sekali, tak boleh jugak discharged sebab baby jaundice. he was under phototherapy for a day. mula2 he stayed in nursery, but i can't bear being far from him. OH requested the baby to be roomed in together with us to ease breastfeeding. syukur, sbb baby's jaundice was minor and he was allowed to be in with me.

April 6th, 2010
OH dah start keja balik. i understand sebab cuti dia pun tak banyak, and he hs to save up for something bigger later in the year. by noon, doc kasik clearance for discharge. baby's SB level dah turun that grant him to be discharged. yabedabedu!! :D

we waited for the bills, and finally by 5.00pm, OH drove myself, baby and mom back to mom's place. everybody is very happy to see the baby home. :D including the two elder brothers. (though afiq masih jeles!)

all in all, it is a journey for both of us. after the high and low dramas throughout pregnancy period, baby no. 4 is now safe and sound. i'm so happy, i feel so grateful to Allah the AlMighty for the rezeki. Alhamdulillah.

insya Allah, by tonight, OH will finally announce the baby's name, mengambil sunat 7 hari untuk bagi nama.

and i shall blog later on my first night experience with a baby and two toddlers under my care. :)

my thank you note
cheh.. macam artis pulak. :P but anyway, i have to thank my family foremost for being very,very helpful throughout this period. from preparing food to sending in to hospital to looking after my two hyperactive boys to putting my boys to sleep.. i know it's hard and difficult especially when it involves my twin. (they only sleep on time if mommy is around, as they are pretty much attached to me)

not forgetting the docs and staffs @ PCMC. they don't only help me to deliver, but they made it a beautiful experience as compared to others. i highly recommend my friends and dear readers.

last but not least, to my dearest OH. for everything u did, from the deepest of my heart, i thank you. i hope the baby is the best birthday gift ever u have got from me, though this year there's no romantic dinner. :) happy birthday darling.

:: selamat bersalin ::

syukur alhamdulillah, finally, i gave birth to a very handsome lil baby boy, on 2nd april 2010 @ 11.35am via elective c-sect due to tranverse position of the baby. he was 2.6kg and 48cm in length when borned.

it was really a 'tear rolling' experience. i can't express how relief i was when everything is over and baby is safely delvered. nanti bila ada kelapangan i'll put up a special entry on my delivery experience, insya Allah.

at the moment, my focus is to get back into good health ASAP as well as bonding with my new baby boy, not forgetting to make a smooth transition for the elder two in accepting their new brother. so far the boys are OK. but it was 'reported' that it has been hard for the boys to be apart from mommy. and today's vide call confirm it all. i myself nangis tgk. guess they're now very attached to me after i have been put on medical leave for roughly 1.5 months.

nama belum kasik lagi. we're still searching.

anyway, this new bundle of joy came in one day earlier than my OH birthday. i supposed this should be the best birthday rpessie ever from me, tho after the delivery we hardly sleep at night sebab nampak gaya this newbaby boy sangat suka mengerdipkan mata di tengah malam sehingga awal subuh. :D

okayla readers, terima kasih atas semua doa dan ucap selamat. hanya Allah yang boleh membalas jasa baik tuan/puan/cik/abang/kakak/adik.

stay tune for more updates!!