Alhamdulillah

Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Praises to Allah, for everything progress well and fine. I am now recuperating at home, and enjoying the confinement period with my boys and new born baby girl. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

This time delivery is pretty challenging. Lots of unexpected things happened, beyond imagination. But, with His blessings, alhamdulillah, we manage to pull through.

I delivered my first princess after a set of KRU via caesarian at prince court medical centre, performed by Dato' Dr Abd Aziz on 22 dec 2012. My c-sect was scheduled at 7.00am and was wheeled to OT by 6.40am.

Delivery was smooth, but Dr said my intestine and uterus were all tangled up, due to past procedures that I had, hence, the post op was NASTY. I was in extreme pain (though csect itself is painful, based on previous experience, but this time punya pain is SUPER NASTY). Couldn't pull myself up for two days, though I usually will be up and walking by day two. NASTY wind, sampai ke tahap you can actually see your tummy is moving like there's another baby inside. Forced myself to wake up at end of day two, and alhamdulillah, it gets better after that.

By the way, masa csect tuh ada benda kelakar jadi. Agaknya punya la excited sebab dapat anak pompuan, husband without realizing tanya Dr paed (non muslim), kiblat mana, masa nak azankan baby. I yang atas OT table rasa nak gelakkk jekk.

DAY 1
My parents arrived immediately after operation together with my kids. My then youngest son, Aidin was so jealous, that he could not even put his eyes on his new born sister. :) He don't even want to salam me, which is weird. Mana taknya, sampai-sampai kat wad, I tengah menyusukan baby. And knowing him, breastfeeding is only for him. :)

That night, Aidin developed super high fever. Siap vomit. 2-3 round demam spiked up to 40deg. Abah called up and informed us. I requested Abah to send him direct to ER, as knowing Aidin, it is normally not a good sign.

Screening shows that he contracted Influenza A virus, and will only know which trat yang dia dapat within 24-72 hours. kena admit di hospital yang sama at that very night. Pity Aidin, sebab sepanjang hidup dia, kalau masuk hospital, takkan ada orang jaga except Mommy. But this time round, we have to rely on Mak and maid to look after him, as I myself was very weak to look after myself and new born baby.

DAY 2-4
On and off when my newborn girl was taken to Nursery for phototherapy session, I took the chance to see him. He will flashed his biggest grin when Mommy visited him and we'll play with his toys for a while before I'm being called up again by the Nursery for feeding session. Extra care was taken, wash hand before and after jumpa Aidin, sebab takut we'll transfer the virus to the baby. Aidin was in isolated room throughout his stay.

By day 4, Dr gave permission for all of us to discharge, but Aidin was not 100% well yet. We decided to stay for another night for the sake of everyone.

DAY 5
New born baby girl had her circumcision today. All of us are discharged but we must pay extra care not to let Aidin to be to near to the baby till he's 100% clear from the virus.

So far, Aidin is getting more receptive towards the baby. He even claimed that the baby is baby didin. Afiq is very brotherly, boleh diharap tolong tengokkan baby, while adib, sangat tidak boleh diduga perasaannya. :)

In short, I'm more than happy though life makin sibuk. Syukur ya Allah, for everything turned out beautiful.

Bedtime story

I'm guilty as charged bila baca entry Hanis Zalikha on how we treat anak kecik/adik. Hafta make time to treat them well. #reminder

Dua-tiga hari nih, Afiq super manja, and super sweet. Maybe sindrom nak dapat adik lagi. Or maybe he was affected sebab dia nampak I jatuh kat Jusco the other day.

Last few nights, masa nak dinner, he a five year old boy suddenly offer, Mommy, I'll take some drinks for you. #cair

Yesterday, he requested for a bedtime story. Bedtime story dia always revolve character cartoon yang dia suka. Kalau kecik-kecik dulu, anything with Thomas, Bob the Builder. Dah besar panjang nih, Ninjago pulak.

I was out of idea. So husband took over. I know my husband was super sleepy, so his story is kinda mengarut. Kesian budak tuh, confuse. hehe.

Tapi yang kelakar, bila sampai satu part.....

Daddy : Then the Ninjago went to village. There're hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of snake. (penuh semangat)

Afiq : (Sempoi) Just say many.

Terus hilang ngantuk adg gelak gila. See how concentrate kids are?

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I came home from work. Eager to see what the kids are doing.

Soklan cepumas setiap kali balik, adalah, "What did you do today?"

And Adib answered, (dengan gaya coverline tapi serius senang sangat nak tau he's covering up!) : Errrrr, nothing Mommy! I'm..... just waiting for you.

sedangkan, sebenarnya, sebelum tu dia tengah melayan game kat hp atok/wan dia.

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I was having dinner with husband and my father, that my father suddenly blurted out Adib's secret..

Abah : Adib mintak nak pakai phone Abah, nak main game. he said, atok, can i borrow your phone and play game? don't worry, i'll put it on silent so that Mommy won't hear.

gelak besau aku ngan husband aku.

Pitam di Jusco

hai uols!

i dah on medical leave, menunggu saat admit for csect schedule end of the week. mmg plan nak off this week, tapi last week lagi dah off, sebabnya, collapse kat jusco sbb very low bp.

bukan suka-suka tau gi jusco. i went there with mom, maid and kids. pergi nak settlekan kids' school stuff before i deliver. memula pegi potong rambut didin. pastu gi beli bag skolah kat pusat hari-hari. #perbelanjaanberhemahhhhh.

dah settle beli beg skolah (doploh dua hinggit saje sorang. based on last year's, tahan setahun. so tak yah nak mengengada beli yg mahal2. lepas dah settle, gerak gi jusco belikan food container & water bottle. kejappp jek aku pegi serius. masa dah settle baya, aku dah rasa lain macam jek napas aku.. mmg niat nak terus balik. skali sampai depan mph, adib mintak beli buku. singgah la kejap. tak sampai 15 minit aku dalam nih, tgh2 menunggu maid bayarkan my kids stuff, tetiba aku gelap mata.

since i've been dealing with this low bp issue for quite sometime, i know what i should do is stay calm, and try to remain until my vision is clear. so, bila rasa-rasa dah clear tuh, aku pun start la jalan kuar dari mph, dengan niat nak stop kat SR yg betul2 depan mph tuh sebab i know i need to sit down n take something sweet. skali tetiba, eh, aku dah kat bawah? maid ngan ada one concern lady tolong angkat aku. mak sendiri tak perasan aku jatuh. mujurlah maid sempat tangkap lengan aku.

malam tuh buat ctg. baby's FHR a bit fast. glucose level normal (sebab aku tak bagitau dr yang aku bleasah durian 3 ulas sebelum buat ctg tuh.. kalau tak maunya low jugak!) the next day jumpa gynae, and terus di offkan kerja sampai hari admission.

ada gak la tanya dr, kot la boleh potong awai sket. he said, be patient, buy some time. it's better, it's just you have to be extra careful. so continue on 2 hari skali ctg sampai beranak. solat pun masa sujud duduk saje, sebab takut tumbang.

hope everything will go well. doakan ye readers!

Berkat Dengar Cakap Suami

hari nih aku tak keja. tatau la jatuh kategori MC ke EL sebabnya laki aku tak kasik gi keja. semalam meeting satu hari. tightening satu hari. malam buat ctg, fetal heart rate laju semacam jek. nurse cakap, maybe aku penat. memang aku penat pun, banyak betul aktiviti aku dari sabtu sampai semalam.

sudahnya, pagi tadi, en suami kata, tak yah la keja. nanti jumpa dr cakap. baik en suami. saya isteri mithali. :)

9 hari lagi aku csect. so skarang nih, masuk la gear nak makan macam-macam yang tak boleh dimakan masa pantang. :D

aku rasa aku nak makan:-

1. udang besar-besar sebab memang la udang aku tak makan masa dalam pantang. kena plak masak kari yang cair-cair or just simply grill. or masak ngan mee kari yang macam kat seksyen 7 shah alam (walaupun aku tak penah makan!)

2. ketam sebab ketam buat aku gatal2 walaupun dah habis pantang

3. cendol (ok dah makan semalam. nyums! beli kat restoran wahab cendol, area wangsa maju)

4. A&W float (dah minum tapi nak lagiiiiii)

5. segala jenis dessert yang ada telur.. :P

6. ice cream

so far, aku agak berpantang jugak la masa pantang. sebabnya, aku takut gemuk. idola aku ada satu kakak kat opis tapi skang dah pencen. baru nih anak dia kawen. serius aku cakap pengantin ngan mak pengantin macam adik beradik, bukan cam mak mertua ngan menantu. kelas ok. so kena cekal semangat berbarut, bertungku walaupun aku csect sepanjang tempoh pantang. biasanya start berbarut & bertungku lepas 2 minggu operate. kalau ikut mak bidan, sebaik saje boleh mengiring kiri kanan, boleh aa berbarut. mak bidan aku (lebih pada kakak sebenarnya) dah jaga aku dari pregnancy no. 1 lagi. memang terbaik.

pastu sebelum operate nih, ingat nak layan anak-anak jalan-jalan. sian diorang nantikan, 40 hari dok umah tak kuar-kuar.

okay la all. bestnya la rasa hari nih tak keja. hmm.. berkat dengar cakap suami. :)

Never Procrastinate.. Because Your Kids Learn! :)

Husband : I want to go & send the car for a wash. It's dirty

Afiq : Daddy, before this, i asked you, daddy the car is dirty, when are you going to send the car for a wash? you said tomorrow. Then when tomorrow, i asked again, then you said tomorrow. So, today you send the car? (soklan innocent gila..)

Husband : (wa kena lagi beb)

Amin : 4 tahun

Hari ni, genap 4 tahun arwah Amin kembali ke Penciptanya.

Pasti Amin sedang bahagia ditemani bidadari syurga. Semoga dia menjadi pemberat amal kami berdua di hari timbangan kelak.

Alfatihah..

ps - Hari ini saya lalui dengan cukup tenang. Insya Allah. Tidak seperti tahun yang pertama dahulu. Sampai kena tegur dengan opismate.

Cuma malam tido, agak sukar untuk melelapkan mata. Mungkin trauma itu masih berbaki. Mendoakan baby dalam perut ini baik-baik sahaja.

Kenangan 4 tahun lalu menjengah kembali

Mungkinkah ini peringatan dari Allah?

Semalam, was my usual CTG monitoring check up. It was my third in a week.

Seperti biasa, lenggang kangkung pergi labour room, and get myself checked. Husband was not around, hantar kereta gi cuci.. kotor sangat..

and guess who i met?

The nurse who consoled me and remind me to be patient, to accept the fact that my late Amin has returned to Allah. Subhanallah. and perkara nih jadi 2 days short from 4 tahun kembalinya Amin ke Ilahi.

Terima kasih ya Allah kerana memberi kesempatan kepada diri ini untuk mengucapkan terima kasih kepada nurse tu, walaupun dia bukan Islam.

Semoga kelahiran kali ini dipermudahkan dan selamat sempurna semuanya.

Amin..

Start buat CTG 2 hari sekali

Semalam, first time aku start 2 days CTG monitoring dekat hospital. Sebabnya aku dah start rasa contraction lately. with arwah amin's intra uterine death history (contraction, no show) dr instruct aku datang hospital every 2 days untuk monitor fetal heart rate.

So, semalam, lepas kerja, husband hantar gi prince court. procedure amek masa 30 minit. aduhhh, sesak napas mak buyong! sebabnya, aku memang dah tak selesa baring terlentang walaupun katil diorang tinggikan tang kepala. sabar jek la kan.

so, within 30 mins CTG tuh, aku contract 2 kali. bila rasa sakit pinggag lain macam tuh, aku intai CTG machine. bila rasa sakit pinggang jek, reading kat label 'toco' pun tinggi sikit. lasted for about few mins.

bila nurse masuk, check reading, dia tanya, tadi ada rasa tightening yek? aku pun angguk. konsisten la ngan reading.

next week masuk 36 weeks. boleh tarik nafas lega kalau baby nak keluar masa tuh sebab dah full term. kalau this week, still border preemie lagi. apapun, aku berserah n tawakkal saje.

cumanya, next CTG kena re plan balik. samada pegi masa lunch time, or sesudah subuh sebelum masuk opis. tak nak gi time petang. dengan jam nya, sampai rumah lambat. kesian kat anak-anak kat rumah.

kay la korang. have a nice lunch! bye!

Amin Fahmi

<< Sesi Luahan Perasaan >>

sometimes, when people asked me, nih anak no. berapa.. i'd answer 5.

sometimes, when i'm not ready to explain, i'll answer 4.

but it hurt most, when they know it should be 5, and they'll say.. kiranya nak masuk 4 saje la..

i delivered the handsome baby, Abdullah Amin Fahmi 4 years ago - full term, but fresh still birth. He's still my son, though he's not around, and he still add the count to the number of children i have. He didn't come out of no where. I carried him for 38 weeks and 5 days, just as a reminder. A full term baby, with no pre-diagnosed problem. A smooth sailing pregnancy.

So, please spare the sentence "kiranya 4 je la" to yourself.

You will never know and never understand, how hard it was to regain strength after the loss, until you experience it yourself.. not that i pray that you'll experience it one day though. Would very much appreciate if you could offer some doa instead.. "semoga amin menjadi pemberat amal kedua ibu bapanya di akhirat kelak"

Dia masih anak saya, dan anak saya nak masuk 5.

mode : bertakung ayaq mata.. 4 years in memory (Lahir dan kembali pada 11 Disember 2008)

35 minggu - 100g gained

Semalam A&C ceck up untuk week 35. gained 100g over two weeks. :) gelak jek dr.

braxton hicks contraction dah makin kerap. one week time, cukup 36 weeks, and i'm more or less dah lega sebab dah full term. am ready to deliver the baby any time, in shaa Allah.

Dr dah set date utk c-sect baby. instead of 21 dec, dr cakap buat 22nd. semoga Allah kurnia yang terbaik untuk kami.

dah makin letih sekarang. kerja pun dah makin malas. tido is a gem! susah nak dapat solid sleep nowadays. masuk opis asyik menguapppp saje.

start this week, kena pegi hospital every alternate days untuk buat ctg, sampai la bersalin. reason being, masa deliver arwah amin dulu, aku contraction n dah bukak 2cm tapi tak de show langsung. so dr kata, for a peace of mind, better buat ctg every alternate days, sbb ia akan represent baby's condition for 2 days. (tapi arwah amin dulu, ctg buat petang, amin passed away malam). so, saya kena selalu ingat, kun fayakun! kita hanya merancang, Allah yang tentukan. kalau Allah kata jadi, maka jadilah. ini hanya sebahagian usaha sahaja.

selera makan pun dah merudum. dok craving nak makan buah saje.

sekarang dalam usaha nak educate aidin yang dia akan jadi big brother. sebut jek didin nak jadi abang, terus buat dek. haha. comelicious!

okay la people. layan jek la karut marut mak buyung nih. ngantuk tahap gaban, keja banyak tapi tak mampu dah nak buat. take care all. bye