second entry of the day.. rajin plak hari nih.. actually bukan rajin pun.. writing is therapeutic to me.. so whenever i feel down, or the need to express my feeling arise, blogging is always there for me..
why do i blog instead of share how i feel with my close ones? simple.. blogging makes me feel free to type, (though sometimes i still ada element censorship in my entries) delete when necessary, retype and restructure what i wrote without hurting anyone..
i'm not sure whether it's due to my pantang, or current situation.. i just feel pretty easy to be hurt by my close ones.. be it family members, husband, or anyone.. sometimes rasa, i'm living alone in a large world.. feel lonely in crowd.. i know i've decided to be happy, but i need support still.. agaknya inilah yang divorcees rasa kot.. or those yang hilang their loved ones..
sometimes simple 'high pitch' reply hurt my feeling.. aishah don't use to be like this.. she's one iron lady.. trust me.. she has been hurt by many, but she manage to overcome all those matter.. but now, i'm not sure where does the strength goes.. macam direntap²..
agaknya inilah ragam berpantang.. super sensitive.. takpe, 28 days to go, and i'm free like a bird..
it's half past 9 already, and i wonder, why la anak² aku tamau tido lagi..
3 comments:
Every one have their day Aishah...and me being a super duper sensitive person selalu benor dah rasa camtu...w'pun org yg close to us tak bermaksud pun nk hurt us. Tenangkan hati..agak-agak terasa tu try istigfar and selawat..hope it works for u as it for me.
btol cakap Rhapsody tu kak aishah...
Aweng pun macam dia jugak :)
Mari kita cuba istighfar banyak2 k...
Memang kadang2 ada masa, hari, minggu, bulan or tahun yang kadang-kadang kita akan rasa macam tuh...
Tapi, insya Allah, it will go away to follow the flow.
Sabar k!
It is called "postnatal blues", ada medical explanation about it. Most of women in confinement period memang mengalaminya. Saya mengalaminya setiap kali lepas beranak, every child, dah 4 kali rasa. Tapi sebab kita dah tahu what is going on with our emotion, so we could handle it better.
Memang gila-gila punya super sensitive. Sometimes rasa the whole world sedang mengkhianati kita. Tapi jangan dilayan sangat perasaan itu. Kalau orang kampung, diorang selalu cakap "perempuan gila meroyan". Actually gila meroyan tu berpunca daripada inability to control and manage the postnatal blues wisely. Once dah kena gila meroyan, ada yang sampai bertahun-tahun. Memang ada medical help about it, tapi orang Malaysia kurang pengetahuan tentangnya.
People around us tak boleh expect kita kuat. Kita baru saja melepasi 9 bulan alam mengandung, sakit perit melahirkan, lebih-lebih lagi if the unborn died, lagilah meruntun perasaan sepanjang confinement period tu. That's why our loved ones should play part. Even maid pun kena faham, buat kerja elok-elok dan jangan sampai kena suruh berkali-kali or kena complain itu ini. Pendek kata, we should be treated like a queen. Sebab tu kalau berpantang kat kampung, orang-orang tua zaman dulu cukup jaga elok-elok perempuan lepas bersalin.
Insya Allah you will go through these few months with flying colours! Kak Aishah yang saya kenal (kenal kat blog aje la...), is a super woman indeed!
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