:: afiq fractured his bone.. ::

it's indeed a tiring day for me.. i woke up at 6.30am, just to feel to feel that i've just closed my eyes.. it has been a tiring week for me.. last week, adib was down with fever, before the rashes appear.. and suddenly, on monday, afiq fell of from his mattress, and only a day later, we discovered that he has fractured his left clavicle with displacement, and the x-ray reveals that there's slight overlapping of bone fragment..

we didn't know how does it took place.. nobody was around.. i was in the office, so do the grandmom.. the maid claims that afiq was asleep, and she left her for a while to fetch a drink, which is just metres away from afiq.. only to hear afiq creaming, and when he started to cry, he didn't stop until evening.. atuk brought him to the clinic, and the dr said that dia kembung.. which is true, because he has been crying all day long.. i came back in the evening, just to find him crying while bathing, (which is rare as afiq loves water).. i picked him up, cuddled him and soothed him till he stopped crying.. but then, when i put him back on the mattress, to put on his diapers and cloth, he started to cry again.. at that time, mommy's instint kick in.. there must be something wrong.. i started to look for any signs.. nothing that i could find, until i pulled him up, and were about to pick him up, when the crackled sound makes his appearance.. now, i know, he must have been in pain.. i believ it was at his bahu towards his upper back area.. i called my thoughtful mak bidan, and she came over after maghrib to massage afiq.. afiq got much more better, and by then, he could lift up his hand again.. that night he slept pretty well..

the very next day, i went to th office as usual, as i was scheduled to have my management meeting that day.. when i came back, my mom told me that afiq seems to be unable to crawl.. when my in laws dropped by, papa told me that he could feel that the collar bone is moving.. i started to think of the worst.. called a friend of mine, who is a dr by profession, she advised me to bring afiq for a check up..

and today, the x-ray reveals that afiq has fractured his bone.. pity afiq.. he's indeed too small to bear that kind of pain.. but i believe both my sons are strong.. and i hope it will make them grow stronger and wiser.. i don't deny that pain is part of the process of learning, but i still feel guilty for not being able to take care of afiq and adib fully.. i'm mad with my maid.. but at the moment, i can't disposed her, as i'm in my second trimester.. i need some help to run house chores, etc..

on the other hand.. i pity my mom too.. she lost her appetite when she look at afiq's condition.. she helped me out through the nights, looking after the boys, while still attending her responsibilities as a niece.. my mom's aunty is in ICU, hospital besar seremban, fighting for her life, after a heart attack yesterday evening.. we were informed that she's now on machine.. my mom's aunt is the one who have lend her a shelter when she started working in KL.. my doa for her and family to be strong to face Allah's challenges.. and i hope Allah will grant what is best for her.. amin..

it's pretty long for today.. thanx for reading.. zai jian!

:: %&*$#! ::

kepala aku sakit, hati aku sakit. that's how i feel today. details? semua sangkut paut ngan keje. boleh blah. hati bengkek punya pasal, gua cakap ngan boss, kaalu nak gak buat keje nih, cari la engineer lain buat. LETIH LAYAN!

nak balik rumah jek rasa. dengan keadan afiq yang tak sihat kat umah, terseliuh tangan, thanx to my 'RELIABLE' maid. budak tuh melalak satu hari, semua org tatau kenapa, sampai la aku balik n check in the evening. rupanya terseliuh bahu. aku dah tak kuasa nak marah. PENAT.

if not because of financial burden and needs, i would have tender my resignation letter long, long time ago. but i have to, to ensure that both of us can lay the food on the table, and live comfortably, as well as for our children's future.

my heart hurts. BUGGER!

:: i need a hint of caffeine.. ::

dizziness and sleepiness rae taking over my body.. thanx to afiq and adib who woke me n hubby up at 4 am this morning.. they're so wide awake, that they played together under the dimmed light till quarter to 6! erk! adib even popped his head up beside me and give me a wide grin.. saba jek mommy.. tried to catch some sleep in the car, but i just simply can't..

have plenty of reports to read, letters to write (partially done), powerpoints to put up.. meeting to prepare.. hrmm.. lambatnya nak sampai hari jumaat..

anyway, yesterday hubby and me went to klcc, purposely to look for a lunch jar and his shirt, but we end up buying afiq and adib's new clothing and jeans.. :D

i'm stopping now.. nak concentrate buat keje nih.. have fun everyone.. bye!

:: adib demam ::

i was on leave yesterday, and only manage to update my friendster blog.. adib tgh demam, kesian dia.. he was very clingy yesterday.. agaknya badan tak selesa.. by night he was ok, but then this morning badan dia panas balik.. feel so bad to leave him behind, since i know he needs me so much, but my instinct says i need to be in the office, and i believe adib is in good hand.. i believe adib is strong that he could actually face the uncomfortable feelings that he has inside..

i'll be having my A&C this evening.. hopefully, everything is fine..

a virtual friend has asked me about my promises on tips to take care of twins.. i need to recall back my early days experiences, and insya Allah will try to write it in a proper manner, so that it could be easily understood.. mana la tau ada lagi among my friends yang akan dpt twin.. :D

okay la all.. i'm blogging off.. take care.. zai jian!

:: my wish list, my hate list ::

My Wish List
1. war free world..
2. decrease in oil price..
3. soleh and solehah children whom will help their parents to jannah, who will always send their doas should we leave the world first..
4. a long lasting happy marriage..
5. tour around the world..
6. good health..
7. guaranteed place in jannah, with beloved hubby.. aminnnnnnnnn

Things that I hate in the Office
1. orang yang print tapi tak reti mau letak kertas kat printer..
2. orang yang suka tinggal pingga mangkuk without washing..
3. People who complain a lot!
4. orang yang pretend busy..
5. orang yang suka cari gaduh..
6. orang yang rasa dia saja yang betul..
7. orang yang tak boleh terima pendapat orang lain..

:: afiq and adib's first birthday party invitation ::

i feel very exhausted today.. my head is dizzy, and lately, i slalu rasa nak blackout.. masa first pregnancy dulu, ada gak kena cam gini, but then, it was masa nak masuk 5-6 months.. this time round, masa 3 months pun dah start kena.. FYI, i memang ada low blood pressure, and i guess it's disturbing me early this time.. as a result, today, hubby drove me to office.. sebab dah 2 times in 3 days i kena macam gini.. first time round masa kat sogo last friday, luckily my staff is around.. and the second time was yesterday, when i was preparing the breakkie..

anyway, i'd like to share the story of afiq and adib's first birthday party invitation.. a friend of mine and hubby, hafiz and his wifey sherifah are kind enough to invite us to join their son's 2nd birthday party held at gymboree, bangsar village.. we arrived 15 mins behind schedule.. (well, preapring 2 boys for auting can be sucha daunting task, especially when they cried out loud..) when we arrived there, the activities have started so afiq and adib just bug in and join the rest.. to my amusement, adib was beaming.. he smiled so wide, that we can see all his 6 teeth.. once we put him on the floor, merata merangkak.. afiq on the other hand was a bit reseved.. perhaps sbb dia blank sebab terkejut bangun tido, and it took him quite a while to 'sedar' and get into mood.. he even sobbed masa the 'teacher' nyanyi lagu ngan clown.. i have to expose afiq more to the crowd so that he'll not be intimidated anymore.. hehe.. lots a door gift, but the one we treasure most will defintiely be - THE FREE COURSE PASS! hehe.. will definitely come back and let afiq and adib enjoy themselves again..

what else? at the monet, i still feel groggy n unwel.. hopefully, it'll get better by noon.. i need zzzzzzzz.. huargh..

ok guys, take care.. zai jian!

:: trying to make out the best from a gloomy day ::

last entry, i've shared with you happy happy i was when i got to know that the embryo within my sil uterus is still alive.. but the happy news only stands for a while.. after a battle, she finally lost her baby.. she went through her d&c yesterday, and is still warded as of yesterday.. normally, if u have to go thru d&c, u'll be wheeled out after more or less 45mins - 1hr.. but she was in the OT for 3hours.. because of excessive bleeding.. saba la sis..

i am not heading a good day today.. not in a good book with my boss.. let me put the details aside.. u can't blog about everything.. despite this is dunia siber.. u can be sacked for writing things that are not supposed to be read publicly..

yesterday, the gov announced that all governmant staff will be paid twice in a month.. and i personally, as a government servant, i am not agreeable to this motion.. yes, i know, developed countries for example australia has been practising weekly salary, but everything else come hand in hand.. including water bills, gas bills, rental, etc.. but here in msia, the situation is ain't the same.. we still have t pay house rental monthly, bills monthly, school bus fares monthly.. not to mention tuition fees, mengaji fees, etc.. it does not come hand in hand with the implementation of twice payment of salary in a month! it might not be a problem for those with salary about 5-6k, but for ikan bilis like us, who brings home almost 3k a month, almost half of the salary will goes to bills and babies'.. nak makan apa??

for me, personally, it would be wiser to give monthly salary, and let the managers of the money manage their money.. like me, i normally pay my debts early of the month, as i'm a heavy user of credit cards, (but bear in mind, i'm not a shopaholic!)i used my cc mainly to pay my sons' milk, diapers, cereal and my fuel supply.. i used cc mainly because we normally split the house bills.. he will finance 60% and i'll take the rest..

well, anyway, this is my 2 cents.. perhaps, it could be reviewed! anyway, saya yang menurut perintah, if that is the final decision, what can we do about it?

:: ALHAMDULILLAH ::

hye all.. i've told you in the last two entries that my sis in law is experiencing miscarriage.. guess what, after a check by 4 (if i tak salah kira) different doctors, the last dr kata the embryo is still there and ALIVE!!!!!! but the heartbeat is weak, and she has to be warded to minimize movement, etc.. ALHAMDULILLAH.. praises to Allah! i remember telling her the story of a friend of mine whom i got to know via fs.. she was supposed to undergo D&C, but after a week or so of postponement, the embryo is alive! and now, the embryo has grown up to sucha handsome boy, 2 years of age.. i hope my sis in law and the embryo will make it.. amin..

hm.. what else to share.. this weekend activity skali lagi penuh (i don't know when will we have free, leaisure time at home).. on saturday, we have a twin support meeting at DFC, discussing the topic of food allergies, and sunday, we have a birthday party invitation to fulfill in gymboree, bangsar village.. hafta find some time to look out for pressie.. i don't know when will hubby have his free time.. he's so occupied with work, that he had to bring work home, and woke up in the middle of the night to do jobs.. boring.. boring..

i believed that i've passed my first trimester week.. (am not really sure of how old is my gestational age).. alhamdulillah, the nausea and morning sickness is not as bad as my first one.. it sometimes pay me a visit, tapi takde la sampai tak boleh bau nasik.. but this time round, my appetite is not so good.. paling susah nak masuk nasi with masak lemak cili api.. what i could eat is normally - laksa, tomyam, mee hoon soup, roti canai, breads, pasta, pizza.. name anything other than rice.. i just hope that what i eat still ada nutritional value for the baby inside..

afiq and adib nowadays are so active.. yesterday the maids complain.. they both tak tido the whole day, playing around.. as a result, the atuk who came hoome for lunch needs to get the dishes on his own.. hehe.. sian.. on their last medical check up, adib now weigh 9.0 kg while afiq 7.5kg.. u might wonder why afiq ngan adib beza sangat.. what i could say is, it is not that i bagi makan kat adib saja.. perhaps, afiq's metabolisme is too high.. i don' know..

kay all.. will stop here now.. i have been thinking of baking something.. any ideas??

:: sleepy head ::

just had my lunch.. simple, satifsying lunch.. nasi goreng cina with telur bungkus.. and now i feel so sleepy.. am yawning, but can't sleep.. (takut gemuks)

lately, i can't see myself waking up in the middle of the nights to attend my babies' needs.. everything is done by my hubby.. what i only do, is to wake up to wake my hubby up to pick up the baby.. (macam tongue twister plak) perhaps, being pregnant has made me a tad tired..

yesterday was pretty busy.. i suddenly had a handful of task to do.. and to my amaze, (riak sket) siap plak semua ari nih, (except for one, for which i consider dah settle, pending discussion with boss who's not around till next week.. yiha!)

forgot to share some story.. last friday, we brought the boys to the immigration department nak buat passport.. 2 days before, they had their pictures taken.. cute gila! nanti kalau ada time, i upload their pics.. mommy dia macam clown blakang camera trying to make them smile.. but it failed! i guess they were so intimidated by the lights and cameras.. plus confused on why mommy is behaving this way.. haha..

kay la all.. i'm blogging off now.. take care.. bye!

:: condolence sis.. ::

have just received a call from father in law, informing us the bad news.. i feel very sorry to my sis in law who experienced miscarriage.. this is her first pregnancy, and we're expected to deliver back to back.. i am supposed to deliver on 19/12/2008, while she was to due on the very next day.. i've been looking forward coz it's gonna be a big celebration for the family.. but, Allah knows better, what is best for His servants..

to all who are expecting.. please.. please.. and please take extra care.. especially if u're in your first trimester.. please avoid unnecessary long journeys, and if u have to, consult your gynae first.. watch what u eat.. watch what u drink.. be discipline in taking ur supplements ( a reminder to myself as well ).. and please ensure that u get good rest.. husbands, please take care of your wifey, as she's very vulnerable during the first trimester.. put the emryo's safety first.. okay?

that's all for now.. waiting for adib to bangun.. nak gie wedding.. afiq pun tido jugak but he had his lunch already.. take care readers.. bubbye!

:: simple 5th anniversary celebration ::

i should be preparing terms of references, but instead, i started an entry for my blog.. please inspire me to do my work!!!!!!!

i haven't shared the story of our simple 5th wedding anniversary celebration.. it was a quiet evening between the two of us, filling up our tummy to the brim with delicious food.. we had dinner (early dinner in fact) at chilli's klcc (read - food great, access to klcc excellent).. we can't afford to go to vincenzo in bangsar for time is precious, we can't afford to leave the boys behind for too long.. so, as usual, we ordered a plate of mushroom jack and a plate of triple play.. we're not big eaters, so we normally ordered one main course and an appetizer.. that's good enough to fill up our petite tummy.. the food was great.. we enjoyed every bits and bites of it..

had the chance to visit kinokuniya to look for my new book, but ended up not buying it.. i'll just wait for the paperback version to be released.. :D btw, the book is remember me? by sophie kinsella..

till date, i haven't bought hubby any pressie.. for many reasons.. i hope we could make some time this weekend to find one.. it's a major milestone kan in a marriage, hitting the no. 5.. :D

okay la all.. i better get back to my work.. it has been too much of play.. haha.. kay all.. bubbye!

:: advise please! ::

hai readers.. am back in office after a busy weekend.. full of wedding invitations..

yesterday, we went back to my late grandma's house in n9.. and only then i realize that it has been a while since i last balik kampung with the boys.. afiq and adib were so curious with their new surroundings, that afiq was so quiet, even we can hardly hear his voice.. adib on the other was enjoying the nature beauty of kampung that he laughed and screamed when he watched the lil' boys main buai near my grandmom's house..

when we returned home, and are ready to retire the evening, afiq screamed his lung out.. he cried and cried that he was unconsolable.. i was too tired to pick him up.. hubby had to take over the role and cuddled him to sleep.. he woke up again at around 4.50am, and needed to be cradled and rocked gently in my arms before he was asleep again, only to find him wide awake at around 6.30am when we are about to perform our subuh prayers.. aiyakk.. outcome :- mommy and daddy feel very dizzy!

i desperately need some advise on how to return afiq to his normal sleeping habits.. he was a good sleeper, normally.. he hardly woke up in the wee hours.. but for the past one month, this has been his habit.. is he experiencing spearation anxiety, or having disturbance from things that i can't see? i don't know.. anyone, advice please?