:: afiq adib dan respons ::

:: scene 1 ::
sebelum pegi hospital..
mommy : afiq, petang nih mommy kena pegi hospital. afiq tak boleh ikut. afiq kena tinggal duduk sama nenek (maid) kat rumah.

afiq : cian apik kena tinggal (sambil buat muka seposen)

:: scene 2 ::
@ living room, rumah mak
mommy : apik, minggu depan, mommy kena tido hospital. mommy sakit perut. mommy kena potong perut. apik kena tido ngan atuk sama wan. ok?

afiq : cian mommy kena potong peyut. nanti apik tiup.

:: scene 3 ::
@ living room rumah mak
atuk : adib, nanti kalau baby dah keluar, adib kena tido sama atuk. baby tido dengan mommy

adib : (sepantas kilat menjawab) baby tido sama atuk.

skarang, phrase yang mommy dia paling suka dengar everyday, is when they say,"i love you mommy!" and so far it has been exclusively for me!!!!! (unless mommy dia suruh cakap kat orang lain) and that feeling is soooooo great!

:: anak2 yang dah banyak ragam ::

i'm trying to settle my efiling task, but i seem to be unable to connect to lhdn webbie. apsal yek? anyone can advise?

anyway, two more days before i surrender myself kat ward. org kata, first time experience la nervous, tapi i rasa lagik banyak experience lagi nervous!!!! this is going to be my 3rd major operation, dah boleh terbayang sakitnya cemana lepas nih. isk! part yang paling payah nak layan ada 2:

no. 1 : nak bangun dari katil gi toilet. normally, sendi-sendi (ecceh!) aku jam. macam interlocking CBP. erk

no.2 : susah mau gelak dan batuk. kepada pelawat-pelawat orang yang kena operate, sila refrain diri anda dari buat lawak. kesian mereka yang terpaksa menahan gelak.

nak kasik cool down sket the nervous-ness, let me share my 2 kids latest progress. owh, mereka sangat loyar buruk sekarang and i guess the term 'terrible 2' tuh really suits them at some time. imagine terrible 2 times 2?? :D chaos!

they now macm dah tunjuk interest nak pegi sekolah. dah mula nyanyi-nyanyi kat rumah all the nursery rhymes. kinda cute in a way, especially bila diorang tukar lirik lagu.

burung kakak tua

burung kakak tua,
tinggal di jendela,
nenek sudah tua,
giginya tinggal dua.. kena cabut - part nih afiq tambah. lepas tuh dok nak intai gigi my maid. sebab my maid gigi ada defect sket.

kalau tak pun lagu tuh jadi cam gini:-

burung kakak tua,
tinggal di jendela,
nenek sudah balik indon.. - kerja afiq jugak. (we're trying to prepare him to the reality that his favourite bibik aka my mom's maid nak balik indonesia for good in one month time, and he's so attached to that maid sebab maid yang itu tersangatla baik and has been looking after my kids since day one they come home from hospital)

buai laju-laju

buai laju-laju
sampai pokok sena atas - nih adib tukar
apa dalam baju
sekuntum bunga cina ada 'ten pencer' - adib punya keja gak. ten pencer refers to train spencer, character dalam cerita thomas and friends

rumah terbakar

rumah terbakar panggil bomba.. tangkap apiq adib punya keje jugak

bangun pagi

bangun pagi,
gosok gigi,
cuci muka,
pakai baju thomas - adib tambah
minum susu,
makan roti burger - adib gak punya keja
pergi skola,
suka ati..

not to mention, si afiq yang tiru gaya i jalan macam penguin sambil mengleuh-ngeluh pegang pinggang. ya Allah, geramnya!!

okay la all. cukup takat nih dulu. perut nih cam lapar plak mintak makan. hehe.

:: play school shopping ::

we have started thinking of sending the two kids to play school, most probably next year (after they're fully toilet trained). and surely, the mommy and daddy has started to scout around nak hantar dekat mana.

my wishes for their first year in school is very simple. no. 1 : they learn how to socialize and learn how to share things
why?
being twin, they normally got stuck up together. no room for others to join in and vice versa. they have no other cousins that are of same age yang buatkan makin susah la these two boys tomix around. they can be very, very hyper when the parents are around, but become very timid when there are other kids around, eventhough that kid is pehaps almost 2 year younger than them.

no. 2 : they got to learn the fun way.
why?
i want them to enjoy their childhood, and i'm a big believer in learning through playing around. i don't want my kids to turn into a einsten wannabe, and i don't want them to be burdened with too much "extra classes" that they don't have time to enjoy their childhood. (cuba baca recent articles in newspaper) parents nowadays hantar anak2 ke macam2 kelas. sampai anak takde masa to enjoy the evening sun outside aight? but that's personal choice anyway.

no. 3 : let them learn simple, practical things in life
why?
i want them to be independent. i want them to be proud of themselves for being able to put their shirt on, buttn themselves up, tying the shoe laces, etc.

no. 4 : head start to pre-school years
why?
so that they won't have jitters, as i know my kids can be very clingy to their mommy and daddy when they're surrounded with complete strangers. i want them to open themselves up and let them be confident to mingle around.

so off we went to look for few kindy. and we arrived to one (which i totally fall in love with). tapinya, school fee mommy EXTREMELY TAK MAMPU nak bayar.. adoiiiiii. mengalahkan mommybeljar kat uni for years hokay! fee can reach 10K/kid for a semester that consist of 6 months. pengsan mak!:P camana tak fall in love??? hehe. terpaksa la mak lupakan.

my education plan for the kids is pretty much this way.

age 4 y.o - play school (i stress the word play school)

age 5-6 y.o - pre-school (sudah ada calon sekolah, sebabnya that kndy was my kindy and has been a tradition for the family to send the kids there.) alhamdulillah, that school boleh ensure kids will know how to read, write and calculate mostly within 3 months of schooling, and they instill discipline among students. teachers nampak garang, but dalam garang tuh ada soft spots, so that kids won't be too mengada-ngada and know how to behave. skolah tuh bukan islamic kindy, but they offer islamic education as well, where by the ustazah (according to my younger cousin) are from established university in islamic studies. it's a bit far from home, but they provde transportation as well. so not much of worries. some of the teachers dah lama gila kat situ (dari zaman i lagi) and that school now is 40 years of age if i'm not mistaken. tapi tatau la kan, kalau last minit OH ubah decision nak hantar tempat lain.

this is basically their pre-school education. dari segi rohani pulak, i'm thinking of starting to send my kids to mengaji, so lidah yang lembut itu dapat dilatih membaca ayat suci alquran secepat mungkin. most probably at the age of 6, i'm going to start them on formal mengaji classes.

but all these are plans. which i baru pikir2. belum 100% agreeable by my OH. he too definitely have his says in raising up the kids. hmm, so much of school shopping heh? :D

ps - i'm open for suggestion on where to send kids for all three purposes - play school, pre school and islamic studies, especially from those who're more experience surely!

:: things to do ::

things need to be done before the big day comes:-

for my newborn:-
1. hangkut cot dari rumah ke rumah mak
2. jemur tilam baby
3. basuh comforter dan sheet cover (done)
4. jemur 'tudung saji' baby (done)
5. beli big pillow for baby nak kasik senang atuk dia dukung
6. basuh baju, barut, booties, mittens, kain bedung, etc (in progress)
7. susun baju baby dalam chest drawer (in progress)
8. beli minyak telon (done)
9. beli bedak sejuk (done)
10. beli cream for baby. make sure beli small bottle saje. sebab kena try dulu. lesson learned dari zaman afiq and adib yang ghope2nye exczema (allergy to benda2 wangi. terus kena pakai lotion yang hargandia almost 50 plus! pengsan hokay!)
11. akan ditambah senarainya jika perlu. :D

for the elder brothers:
1. stock up food (done)
2. beli toys (macam bribe pulak), tapi actually nak kasik distracted sket and make them feel that i don't love them any lesser (done)
3. beli books

for myself:-
1. beli jamu (done)
2. basuh barut (done)
3. errr, carik mana kain batik. heh! kalau tak jumpa, alamatnya rembat la mak punya.
4. beli nursing bra (done)
5. beli front button shirt/pyjama (done)
6. cut my nails
7. pegi tiffany & co. beli jewelleries (eh tak masuk senarai ek?) :D

rasanya tuh jek kot. dah 2 kali beranak, 2 kali caught red handedtak prepare. so this time round, kalau boleh biarla smooth so that tak nyusahkan sesapa.

next week this time, i shall be in ward already waiting to be cut up!

cuakkkkkkkkkk

:: baby dah buat decision ::

so, i went to see the O&G yesterday, to have my regular A&C check up and sees what she's gonna say about my lil' one.

guess, the baby has made his choice, laying comfortably in transverse position, hence decision is very clear, that he wants to be out through mommy's window. so terus la decide the date yesterday, but with stern warn that i still need to look after myself and movement so forth.

syukur alhamdulillah, the baby's weight has increased tremendously, thanks to the fattening food that mommy has consumed over past 3 weeks. baby's movement is getting lesser, that sometimes it alarms me. addressed the concern to the dr, and dr explained it's most probably due to the lack of space that the baby have compared to before. but i'll continue monitoring and make sure cukup 10 in 2 hours.

anyway, the date chosen will be on 2nd of april 2010, a day earlier than his father's birthday. it would be beautiful to have it on the very same day with his dad, but it would mean i need to have my csect in the evening, and i don't favour that sebabnya nanti LAPARRRRRR. lama tuh kena posa! plus, 2nd april is on friday, and it's a holy day for muslims. baikla amek berkat ari jumaat.

so readers, please pray for me and baby's safety. i'm seriously nervous tho dah ada experience sebelum nih. doakan i and baby selamat semuanya.. amin..

ps - we are an item for 11 years yesterday. :D

:: my delivery experiences ::

ok, now that i've entered my 36 weeks of pregnancy, i think i should blog about my previous delivery experiences for the sake of revision (yep, contraction can be a very matter, that you practically don't know, "are we there yet?")

sometimes, bila pikir balik, lagi banyak kali kita mengandung dan bersalin, lagi takut perasaan. tu i la. sebab masa first time dulu, lebih kepada excited. tatau apa yang hendak dijangka, so redah jerrr. tapi bila dah masuk 2nd and 3rd time, dia makin gelabah. serius. dulu masa first time, labour bag pun tak ready. can u believe it? tapi logik la sebab the twins were delivered @ 32 weeks.

ok, lemme present you with my exclusive experiences - the first two pregnancies.

:: First Pregnancy ::

my 'old' readers may know that i was diagnosed with endometriosis (stage 4) after 1.5 year of marriage. i was in and out of treatment for about 2 years before i finally conceive my twin via IVF at second attempt. yeah, trying to conceive them has put me high and low in life, hence i truly appreciate the experiences that my OH and i have gone through that period. it was tough.

carrying multiples mean higher risk. at 12 weeks or so, i bled and immediately rushed to the hospital. the dr said that one of my twin is lying low, hence the probabilty to miscarriage is high. i was put on bedrest for like 3 months and only join work after almost 14-15 weeks of pregnancy if i'm not mistaken.

life during bedrest involved cerita bawang putih bawang merah, the philippine drama, 24-7 sickness, medication inserted through vagina and almost 23 hours of bedrest. i only woke up for my shower, bath and answering nature's call. i only took the stairs once in two weeks, itu pun sebab pegi hospital or kalau terpaksa turun to shut the alarm off.

bila masuk kerja, kepala pun ala2 haywired. bayangkan how many months of medical leave?? boss kasik kerja pun very light. i was lucky to get a boss who is very supportive and understanding. she supported me in all ways.

i was so huge when carrying the twin. nobody could pass by if i stand perpendicular to the partition. i gained 20kgs over the period of 32 weeks, and i can't see my thighs whenever i looked down. wearing panties and pants are such a challenge, that i need help from my OH. yeah.

and i still remember the 'day' it happened. a few weeks before, i remember addressing my concern to OH on my worries being left behind alone, as he and my parents will be leaving for terengganu on the 16/8/2007 to attend my bro in law's wedding. but the concern was being brushed off, as this is a significant event for the family.

that eventful day of 15/8, OH has just returned from JB after attending his engineering away day. i remember we having dinner at mom's place. OH baru jek sudah makan, and washed his hand. took a glas of water and sit in front of me at the dining table with mom, when i suddenly shrieked out (okay, that's exxagerating) gasped out my curiosity.

"apsal nih????" i let myself out. why on earth i tak boleh tahan my own pee???? but it seems to flow endlessly. nasib baik la maid mak tuh kasik inject dalam kepala the notion that i've broke my water. terus gelabah tukau kain batik and rushed to hospital.

masuk2 jek hospital, terus kena hantar labour room. i seriously don't know what to expect. i felt nothing. frankly speaking takde rasa sakit langsung. tuh yang muka masuk hospital lenggang gemalai, sampai nurse tanya, "tak sakit ke?" i mmg blank at that time sebab i felt nothing. nurse kata contraction dah full.

guess apa yang sakit? sakit check opening. my goodness.. can't the medical researchers team think of something less painful. serious sakit and i hate it so much. mmg i tak malu cakap, i tak tahan langsung bila nurse did that procedure, sampai last2 dia give up, dia kasik aku laughing gas untuk tahan sakit. boleh?????? sungguh memalukan.

tapi bila check opening baru 2 cm. aku dah decide time2 tuh jugak, i don't mind having c-sect as long as my babies are safe. so dr dtg and surpress the contraction. kasik dexa bagai walaupun aku dah amek at 24 weeks to help the babies' lung to mature.

operation was postponed a day later. i was c-sect-ed (if there's such word) on 17 august 2007, the day my brother in law was solemnized and the day my mom celebrated her 53rd birthday. since i dah selalu sangat masuk OT before the delivery, i'm pretty much calm as i know what to expect. (sesungguhnya aku rela dicucuk guna jarum yang besar itu rather than going thru the process of checking the opening).

OH was allowed to witness the whole procedure. afiq and adib was born 4 minutes apart. OH azankan both boys and they were soooooo tiny! imagine 1.77kg an 1.9 kg? and they had to stay in the NICU for 3 weeks before dr released them.

:: Second Pregnancy ::

second pregnancy was an easy peasy one. a DIY baby. no morning sickness, pretty much, i was healthy through out the pregnancy period, except that i kena batuk2 during my final trimester that it took weeks to recover.

i carried the baby for 38 weeks and 5 days. i didn't miss any A&C and pretty much it was very smooth.

this time round, i didn't had any show. no bloody show, no water. nothing. cuma selalu cramping towards final weeks of pregnancy. i remember the pain started to show in the middle of the night but i didn't wake my OH up. i tried to contain the pain, unknowingly i'm having contraction. yeah, i never knew i could be that pain! i remained silent till i can't take it anymore. woke my husband up and told him how i felt. we were having our night at my mom's place that very night. mak advised me to just go the hospital and have a check. siap marah suruh berhenti nangis (i was in serious pain dah masa tuh) sebab takut takde energy buatnya nak kena push malam tuh jugak. so i quickly took my shower (yeah sempat lagi) n performed my prayers (isyak.. tido awal that night) and off to hospital. on the way, dropped by at my house, picked up my labour bag.

sampai2 wad, terus admitted to labour room. i remember my brother who accompanied me to the hospital asking me, "sakit sangat ke long?" i just can't answer. SAKIT GILA.

masa admitted, check2 opening, baru 2 cm, but the nurses found it hard to locate my baby's heartbeat. rupa-rupanya my angel baby dah di penghujung nyawa. the dr later confirmed that there's no fetal heartbeat activity, meaning it's a stillbirth baby.

until now, masih tak tahu apa puncanya. cuma makcik yang tolong cucikan uri tuh cakap my uri was red, which mengikut pandangan dia tak sihat. placenta abruption ka? i don't know.

dari pregnancy yang kedua nih, one lesson that i've got is "always trust your feeling as a mother."

it took me sometime to overcome the grief. syukur i have a stern mom who always remind me about my existing 2 kids that i'm responsible of. that keep me moving.

so i wonder, with the two unique experiences, how will it be this third time? will it be bloody show or wet? will it be planned or will it be emergency c-sect? will it be normal? apa pun caranya, i pray to Allah, on the lil one and my safety. i'm hoping for a safe and smooth delivery. and i'm trying to keep myself alert with any changes etc.

hope this lengthy entry can give a shed of light to those who're expecting.

teringat kata-kata my former boss yang beranak 9, "saya yang dah 9 kali beranak nih pun, setiap kali beranak takut"

so takut is normal. :D

:: kids & impulsive answers ::

:: Scene 1 ::

we have beeen trying to inculcate the notion of being independent to the kids once baby is out. i.e. tak boleh dukung lagi, kena belajar tidur sendiri, etc as we think they're big enough to understand the idea of having a little baby. little that we know, we are the one who are being surprised with their spontaneous answer.

atok : nanti, kalau baby dah kuar, afiq sama adib kena tido dengan atok. baby tido dengan mommy
adib : baby tido dengan atok.

(see how they manipulate the answer and try to get things their way?)

:: Scene 2 ::

it has been while since i share the stories of my nieces and nephews. (yeah, i 've got an additional niece and nephew already!). let me share you a story.

my second niece, or shall i say, anak buah yang paling banyak dapat attention from me - ATIQAH SOFIAH has turned 7 this year and has started her formal schooling. however, instead of going to a normal daily school, her parents decided to send her to an islamic school - ADNI, where she get to learn some basic arabic language.

my sister in law is in confinement at the moment. and we have a confinement lady that is so close to the family (she started to take care of my sis in law everytime confimenet since she gave birth to atiqah and i myself get her service too). she'll come to the house daily, every morning, to massage, tungku, bengkong, bath the baby, massage the baby etc.

this confinement lady or kak nurul, as we fondly call her, engaged a conversation with atiqah on one fine day.

kak nurul : atiqah, itik dalam bahasa arab kita panggil apa?
atiqah : duck-tun.

and seriously, that answer made me laugh hysterically. i mean, how can a 7 year old girl wo is sooooo innocent boleh jadi very spontaneous like that??

:: rajin mode : ON ::

yesterday, OH had his day off, and off we went to the dentist to get adib's filling done. seperti biasa, adib melalak satu klinik dengar. bila tanya kenapa nangis, dia cakap, "adib takut." ;p

anyway, i took the chance to stop by at the 'kedai borong untuk permainan kanak-kanak' in jalan raja laut. mmg ada niat nak carik some toys for the kids as pressie when i came back from hospital after delivery. this is one of the best advise that i've got from an acquaintance of mine, in order to help the elder to cope with the new sibling. apatah lagi dengan keadaan afiq yang jeles teramat.

after we're done with the dentist, went back to mom's and the kids pun fell asleep. the parents? lari pergi soho kl, nak try japanese buffet gourmet @ tenji. march ada promo - 49.90++ per person for lunch, and the food selection is huge. oyster lovers may find this place heaven, sbb plenty of oyster being served. me? ok la sebab i mmg not a fan of japanese food. so having buffet makes it easier for me to get a taste of the japanese food. :D but one thing for sure, we came home - BLOATED. haha. overstuffed ourselves with food surely.

i'm thinking of mengajak my OH to bring the kids to watch hot air baloon in pjaya. i'm sure the kids will love it, cumanya, laratkah?? my maid dah siap cakap tadi, "err dik, perutnya udah turun sangat! apa malam ini atau esok pagi nih bersalin??"

ntah lerr. yang pastinya, hari nih aku cukup rajin mengemas - satu simptom yang cukup familiar kalau aku nak deliver. toilet dah sparkling clean. (mak tau mak patut rest, but my eyes couldn't just accept the level of cleanliness in the bath. i took my time and carefully scrub it gently, and making sure that i didn't exert myself. my room at mak's place pun dah clear dari habuk dan sawang. i get my maid to sapu, mop and change the sheet. lepas tuh i've cleared the drawers that are full of 'stuffs' so i get more space to put my things. standing instruction pun dah bagi kat maid. kalau i beranak, please jemur tilam baby, his 'tudung saji' (ala netting yang kaver baby dari kena gigit nyamuk). baju baby pun dah basuh. barut baby pun dah basuh.. (owh, barut aku yang belum basuh!!) so basically, i'm now on waiting mode jek. getting ready to deliver, and this time, i'm putting myself on high alert. making sure that the baby kicks 10 times in two hours. i normally buat around 10 pm-ish sebab time tuh baby paling active. (darling lil baby, please don't tell me that u're a night person yeah?)

i'm thinking of putting up an entry on my delivery experience. nantila kalau i rajin i type. sebabnya, my delivery experience tak sama langsung for my first two pregnancies, so i don't really know what to expect this time round. hoping for a safe, smooth and less pain delivery definitely.

okay la peeps. can't wait to see the dr next week and hear what she's gonna say..

:: trip to i-city, shah alam ::

nih semua pasal baca entry blog yani . setelah beberapa hari merancang dan membuat tolak tambah bahagi darab, tetiba smalam calculator crash and terus kata JOM. semua pasal i pegi cakap kat mak, we WERE THINKING of going there bringing the kids to enjoy the lights. mak terus kata JOM dia nak gi, and OH pun seperti biasa hendak membodek ibu mertuanya pun terus kata OK padahal dia baru jek sampai umah dari pasar malm kul 7.

after maghrib, at quarter past 8, the whole family - me, OH, the kids, mak and the maids made our move. naik DUKE & NKVE and reached there around 9. my goodness.... mmg hensem la ini tempat. lawa gila, macam kat kroea. as the trip was pretty much unplanned, i didn't have any pics. semua pakai kamera mak, tapi kamera mak kureng best. so gambar tak secantik gambar-gambar kat blog yani. but it surely bring smiles to the kids and the maids. mak's maid s going back for good soon, and she's done a pretty good job with my kids, that i feel i owe her a treat!

anyway, i city itu sangat hensem. we were surprised by the number of people yang datang melawat. ingatkan tak ramai, tapi boleh tahan gak la, sampai nak amek gambar dengan swans pun kena 'queue'. ada exhibition center jugak kat situ tapi kitorang tak masuk sebab it was closed temporarily as ada VVIP akan datang melawat during that time.

we spent about 45 mins wandering around. the city tak la besar sangat, tapi cukup la nak buat mak buyong nih suffer the after effect the next day (aka today). we have to put up a fight with the kids sebab they don't want to go home and want to play dekat pokok2 kecik ala2 winter sonata kat korea tuh minus the cold. it's worth a trip, especially kepada fotografer tegar.

okla peeps. enjoy your working day. da!

:: survival mode : the kids ::

scene : rumah mak aku

we bought 2 new board books for the kids. different titles of course.

masalahnya, diorang lagi berkenan kat satu board book. (read : tajuk board book tuh TOYS).

adib got the upper hand masa rebut buku tuh. dia pun as usual, melarikan diri la. survival mode la katakan. yang si afiq pulak, as usual nangis. lepas sesi pujuk memujuk, afiq pun ok, and adib won the battle.

sekali tetiba, adib nangis. cari buku TOY tuh tak jumpa. kitorang semua blank. buku tuh confirm kat adib, sebab afiq was with the grandparents at that time. nih sahih la kes dia lupa dia letak kat mana buku tuh.

aku dah malas nak layan. i was in the kitchen at that time.

mak buyong seperti biasa akan bukak peti ais mencari mende2 yang boleh dimakan.

skali, aik??????

BUKU dalam peti ais???????

heylooooo adib!!!!!! how creative u are??????

:: appointment with the paed ::

we brought the boys to paed yesterday, after giving up with the meds that were supplied by our usual GP. it has been 2-3 weeks of medications, but it seems that the kids didn't recover fully from the coughs and running nose they've got since CNY. lepas tuh, there' re few conditions yang adib develop that alarms me. dia slalu nampak macam choking bila minum susu nak tido, breath ada sket bau for the past few days and appetite dia veryyyyyyyy poor. he even refuse to take his fav vitamin which i normally kena sorok!

so off we go to pcmc, meeting the new paed. all this while, i'm so used to APSH's paed, but decided to give a change as i don't feel satisfied with the service level there. need to wait for a while, as we were late for appointment. luckily, there's a playroom for the kids to kill their time and it's pretty hard to get them out from the playroom!

since dah bawak pegi paed, terus amek skali shot hep A, second dose. adib behave really well. only cried a bit, and afiq the drama king as usual menangis sakit and continue to pretend sakit even after kena cucuk. :P

weight wise, adib is doing so well. he's now 14 kg and is 93cm tall. afiq pulak 11kg and 88 cm tall. afiq is pretty small i notice and the graph of growth pun tunjuk he's on the smaller side. tho small, tapi dah ada sharp increase in terms of weight, so tak la berapa alarming sangat.

dr kata, the main cause of everything is running nose. afiq dah ada signs of sinusitis. i'm not surprised when the dr said that as both me and husband ada sinus, so pretty much, blame the gene! dr prescribed us dengan mildest nasal spray and some syrup to improve their conditions.

so far, they are responding to the medication pretty well. no more struggles nak kasik makan ubat, as the syrup dose is pretty low and spray tuh kunun2 minyak wangi sebab botol dia macam EDT sket2. haha. anyway, i find this dr far better than my former paed that i decided to continue with him for my next child, insya Allah. he handled the kids well. takde unsur paksaan and knowing my kids who are afraid of strangers, they can really cope and communicate with this dr. so that's a plus point!

hopefully they'll recover really soon. sian lerr tgk air hidung meleleh2.

kay la readers, tuh jek update for today.

ps - 34 weeks and 6 days. dug dag dug dag.. takut. smalam dah mintak OH masukkan labour bag dalam kereta. just in case.

:: afiq dan jeles ::

hari nih nak cerita pasal afiq adib yang dah makin lorat. sangat lorat dan adakalanya sangat loyar buruk.

afiq in particular, sangat minat dengan muzik. TETAPI dia tak pandai nyanyi. mmg kesian sangat kalau dengar dia nyanyi. tak pe, tak pandai nyanyi tak pe, yang penting pandai mengaji!

anyway, kalau nyanyi lagu kat diorang, i selalu tukau lirik. ikut sedap mulut mak dia nak nyanyi macamana.

for instance.. lagu iken kekek..

ikan kekek mak iloi-iloi
ikan gelama mak ilai-ilai
dapat baby comelnya amboi
tapi afiq jeles sangat

(read : afiq memang kuat jeles)

so, he got interested with the tune, and has been repetetively asked me tos ig that song, till it reaches one moment when he say:

MOMMY, NAK NYANYI LAGU IKAN KEKE (takde k) TAPI TAMAU BABY.

wakakkakakaka.

lepas tuh, i sang the same song to adib..

and adib's reply:

ADIB TAK JELES

:D ngeeee!

like yesterday, we had our brekkie at in law's house. afiq sat on my lap in the car on the way to in law's house. as usual, he'll put his arm on the arm rest aka my tummy. it happened that the baby was making some move and he could feel it. terus pandang perut, and i explain to him, "baby tengah jalan dalam perut mommy." and guess what is his reaction? tak letak tangan dah atas perut!!! mak aiii, jeles sapa ko dapat nih fiq?

:: simptom bosan kronik ::

simptom bosan kronik.

1. bila bukak status updates dalam facebook, takde sapa pun update.
2. bila bukak bloglist, takde satu pun update baru.
3. bila counter statistik game dalam handfon mencapai angka 400 hits dalam tempoh 2-3 hari.
4. bila baca surat khabar sampai ulang 2-3 kali.
5. bila tengok buku cerita dah tau apa ending dia.
6. bila siang, paksa diri tidur.
7. yang lebih haru lagi, bila terpaksa buat semua nih dalam masa 5 hari seminggu untuk tempoh 5 minggu berturut-turut.

ps - dr, boleh tak saya cancel MC? saya rasa saya nak berkhidmat kepada negara. apatah lagi hati saya sakit bila ada yang secara direct cakap depan mata, kepala, telinga, mulut dan hidung saya kerja government nih relaks berbanding dengan kerja di syarikat-syarikat milik kerajaan. saya pasti kawan-kawan saya di ofis akan turut membelasah orang yang berkata demikian.

:: pengemis ::

aku tidak pernah meminta darimu,
segunung intan dan emas,
untuk melingkari tubuh.

aku tidak pernah meminta darimu,
seribu satu kemewahan,
untuk selesa dengan hidup.

aku tidak pernah meminta darimu,
walau seurat sutera,
untuk memperindah lenggang dan lenggokku.

aku hanya mengemis sedikit kasih,
aku hanya menganyam harapan bahagia,
aku hanya memohon secebis senyum,
aku hanya mengimpikan seindah waktu.

tapi mungkin,
yang diimpi tak tergapai dek tangan,
tak tercapai dek hidup.

mungkin benar kata teman,
pelangi akan terbit,
jika kita gembira dengan gerimis,
tanpa mengharap hujan yang menderu.

sedarlah wahai diri,
kita hanyalah seorang pengemis,
di pesisir hidup ini.

:: pregnancy update at 34 weeks ::

officially a 34 weeker pregnant lady. at least another 2 weeks to go before hitting full term.

last few months, my gynae referred me to a physioterapist after i complained on pain at my hips when it involves movement. after few session and exercise, i manage to get over it and gets better.

and after that, malas took its role, that i stopped the exercise and pretty mch act like a non pregnant woman. naik turun tangga, angkat barang, dukung anak while travelling and lotsa walking around. ha, skarang nih padan muka.. sakit gila hokay! tu la, aunty jiran tuh dah cakap don't dukung anak, aku degil..

sakit tuh is at around pubic bone area. last check up, i relate it to the dr and informed her that i could even hear tulang tuh berbunyi-bunyi especially when i tossed around in bed and tried to wake up from lying down position. dr had a check and said dah swolen.. and she can even feel the tulang is moving. and that explained the pain. dia cakap things will get worst, and next would be sakit belakang, which aku dah mula rasa. she said, i shall walk like a penguin, which i really did to balance out my body weight as the bone dah tak stable.

so she advised me to have some ice packs and tuam la kunun2 utk kurangkan bengkak. patutnya dah kena pakai pregnancy belt to support my tummy, but since sakit tuh cuma masa baring and i pun dah nak masuk final trimester, i rasa tak perlu. so i religiously for the past 2 days pakai ice packs and syukur it has shown some improvement.

dr cakap, this may be the effects of previous twin pregnancy and c-sect. pubic bone tak close properly due to heaviness. tu la pengorbanan kecil wanita yang bergelar ibu, yang takkan mungkin lelaki rasa kan? alangkah untungnya wanita dan ruginya lelaki yang tidak tahu menghargai isteri yang mengandung. :D

cakap pasal takut nak bersalin nih, aku rasa semua org perempuan macam tuh. tak sabar nak bersalin tapi takut nak bersalin pastuh nak cepat habis pantang bagi yang betul2 ikut pantang larang tradisional. aku kalau time bersalin, paling fobia masa nurse nak check opening. adoiiiiiiii. can't they think of something else that's less painful? aku rela kena cucuk bagai, but not that one. seriously.

aku doa sangat proses mengandung dan bersalin aku kali ni dipermudahkan. aku rasa aku ni dah banyak sangat susahkan orang. sampaikan aku fikir, kalaulah masa aku nak terberanak tuh aku sengsorang kat umah with no one who can drive to send me to hospital, aku harap sangat aku diberi kekuatan utk boleh drive safely and calmly without causing chaos to anyone. seriously! sebab aku dah banyak kali kena 'sound' selalu menyusahkan orang.

err, anyway, today baby kurang aktif sket gerak, but so far count cukup. so i shall continue tp monitor its movement. dah pregnant 3 kali baru tau and faham cemana nak monitor fetal movement. first time preggy tak sempat buat, babies dah nak kuar tgk dunia awal. second time i memang tatau sebab dr tak cakap, and third time after being told by my friend who was at that time carrying her first child. :D jangan ingat org dah mengandung banyak kali tuh dah cukup ilmu di dada...... ;)

okayla peeps. it's extremely late already. want to catch my night sleep.

ps - current weight : 64.9kg additional 0.5 kg in 2 weeks time. total weight gained up to date - 13.9kg. agak sikit berbanding previous pregnancy which recorded a total of plus minus 20kgs!

:: killing time ::

hoihhhhhhh.. sangapnye kena memerap kat rumah for 2 weeks, and it will continue for the next three weeks.. dah habis kering kontang idea apa nak buat kat rumah nih. nak buat housework tak boleh.. nak pegi shopping - RESTRICTED. nak pegi jejalan tak boleh drive. the 'outest' world that i could get is my homebound journey - melawati to ampang, twice a day - bosan hokay! nd dibosankan lagi dengan sang suami yang tak penah balik awal for teh past two weeks and daku dah berhenti mengharap bila dia nak balik awal. paling awal sampai umah pun 6.40pm. bayangkan seharian kat rumah with nothing to do, i can seriously go mad and insane!

today, i kill my time wth sleeping. yeah you read me right! SLEEPING. laptop on tapi gua terbongkang. lepas tuh, zohor then bersihkan the kids. when i say bersihkan, it involves earwaxing, lpeas tuh potong kuku. since kuku dah potongkan semalam, hari nih tinggal telinga saje. kalau masa babies dulu, i also did their hair trimming, tapi bila dah besar nih, hantar kedai saje.

i've packed up my labour bag, 90% siap. tinggal a few books and receiving blankie jek nak masukkan. apa lagik? owh, i still have one more thing in my to do list which is to sort out my kids' punya baju. i'm done with theirs untuk babies and 1 yr plus clothing, and we ended up with many, many bags! imagine everything times two, from mittens to booties to caps to shirts to tshirts, etc and i'm thinking to hand it over to others.

toys pun dah siap sort out. those 'babies' toys dah diasingkan, tinggal the one yang current sajek. i've to do that in order to know what is in hand and to avoid wastage.

novels pun ak dah tak larat nak baca. tv mmg bukan my interest. so please readers, any suggestion on how to kill time? :P

ps - owh, i so look forward for my next appointment with the dr. as that's the only time i can really enjoy 'fresh air' outside.. heh. and i miss my baking tremendously.

:: gundah di hati siapa yang tahu ::

the nearer it gets, the more unstable i become.

that's a simple statement reflecting how i feel inside me now.

i feel so alone. frankly speaking. i don't know how to communicate my fear. and i don't know to whom shall i share my fear. i know my parents try not to talk about it. mungkin tak nak aku pikir sangat, while OH is so busy with work that i could hardly find time to talk with him. hence blogging is my way.

i am now entering 34 weeks of pregnancy, and has been put on medical leave due to preavia type 2.this is my first time experience ever despite being pregnant 3 times already. so far, none pregnancy of mine is similar. each individual experience is unique, hence making me like a first time mother everytime i go through my pregnancy period.

so far, the baby is doing fine. he's a little small, and dr said that i may be prone to get small babies, based on my previous pregnancy history. yesterday's weight gain alarmed me a little bit. i only gain 0.5kg within 2 weeks and i'm not sure whether that's good or bad. but the dr said it's fine.

having going through a stillbirth delivery before really haunts me. it has never been easy. yang mampu aku buat sekarang, banyakkan mengaji dan doa agar hati jadi tenang dan dipermudah serta selamat semuanya. sometimes, aku rasa aku nih cam kena gie trauma counselling. sounds paranoid kan?

again dear readers, doakanla saya dan anak dalam kandungan selamat.

dear risau, please go away........

ps - semalam afiq tanya mommy, "mommy, baby keluar ikut mana?" he's two years and 7 mons old btw. his Q makes me smile. :D

:: risau ::

2 posts in a day. hebat. :D

just came back from A&C. alhamdulillah, doc said maybe boleh try normal, as plasenta didn't cover up the opening. syukur.

tapi i masih gundah gulana. still traumatised by previous experience. i believe semua yang pernah lalu pengalaman yang sama akan rasa benda yang sama. hopefully, semuanya selamat dan dipermudahkan.

anyway, dr extend MC lagi. :D elok gak tuh sebab dah selalu sakit2 n tak larat. sahih kalau gi keje lebih menyusahkan org dari menyenangkan.

doakanla saya dan baby selamat yea dear readers. i betul2 risau.

:: keluarga hari ini ::

of late, kita banyak dengar cerita pasal pasangan suami isteri bercerai. and yesterday, i came accross an interview with a marriage counselor yang menyatakan banyak pasangan bercerai disebabkan oleh isu remeh, i.e. ketidakfahaman sesama pasangan mengenai kerjaya, pasangan tak beli makanan, etc.

isu itu memang remeh. tapi pada pandangan peribadi aku la, setiap isu remeh itu tetap isu, yang kalau berlanjutan memang boleh jadi parah. accumulated residue can form an island. itu perumpamaan mudah. sikit demi sikit isu remeh ini terkumpul, lama-lama pasangan yang tidak berpuas hati mungkin merasakan dirinya tidak penting lagi, lantas mencari jalan keluar, mencari sinar bahagia di tempat lain. apatah lagi, kalau pasangan yang tidak berpuas hati tu dah banyak menabur bakti dan jasa kepada keluarga.

saranan kaunselor tuh, kembali ke tunas agama. pegang dengan teguh peranan masing-masing sebagai suami dan isteri agar tidak tergugat institusi kekeluargaan. tunas agama tidakkan luput dek zaman, lantas alasan-alasan seperti kesibukan kerjaya tidak wajar dijadikan alas dalam setiap pertelingkahan.

apsal tetiba aku blog pasal benda macam gini? this is my concern dengan institusi keluarga sekarang. kalau ini perkara-perkara remeh macam gini tidak dipandang serius oleh masyarakat, in the future, macamana la agaknya?

sekarang, setiap pasangan berkahwin diwajibkan untuk menghadiri kursus pra-perkahwinan. bakal pengantin dicurah dengan 1001 ilmu dan asas kekeluargaan. perhaps, silibus juga perlu dicheck semula. maybe perlu masukkan satu topik khas on 'how to communicate?'. sekurang-kurangnya boleh jadi panduan kepada pasangan dalam mengemudi rumahtangga.

Allah dah jadikan lelaki sebagai pemimpin dan wanita sebagai yang dipimpin. lelaki harus tegas tapi lembut dalam berbicara. ibarat menarik tepung, tidak bertabur. wanita dijadikan olehNya bersifat lembut tetapi cekal menghadapi dunia.

wallahu'alam.

:: semakin tak larat ::

will be having my A&C tomorrow, and insya Allah will know whether i'll be back to work or terus cuti sampai deliver. but looking at my history, i rase la, cuti sampai deliver. weewo.

so far the bleed has stopped. but, i'm now pretty huge, that i find it hard to move around. i have free myself from cooking, housechores, carrying kids, driving, name it. ala2 princess. hekhek. well, dah arahan kan, mak ikut jek lerr.

kids are not around. diorang gie 'pow' atok die beli 'scrambler'. masak la atok dia. kalau beli, bukannya boleh beli sebijik. sah2 kena angkat 2. penangan cucu. kalau ngan anak dulu, mintak maap okay! boleh kira berapa kali abah beli toy! (and i only have 1 barbie throughout my childhood kalau tak silap!)

as said in my previous post, aku dah mula rasa simptom-simpton nesting. nesting symptoms mmg selalu datang bila aku nak deliver. rajin berkemas la, etc. and yes, aku dah berjaya clearkan toys anak2 aku yang dah rosak plus their old clothing (dengan bantuan, of course!). guess, after check up esok, i can know basically when to start to pack my labour bag.

actually, hajat hati nak buat biskut. (ada hajat lagi tuh!) kalau beli tak puas makan. tapi oven kecik sangat, so aku malas nak bakar ber'batch'2. i was thinking that i can still bancuh while sitting, and get someone else to bake it for me. hari tuh OH promise to buy the bigger oven, but i wanted him to simpan that cash for some other intended use at the end of the year.

okay la peeps. take good care. salam!