:: mommy's love note ::

i've got something particular to share with my readers, which i've kept in my mind and heart for a long, long time.. it may be sensitive to some, but i'm just expressing my thoughts, opinions and feeling here.. so if u think you can't take it, please proceed to the x box and close this window..

i've been married for 5 years, turning 6 insya Allah, next year in may.. we waited for 4 years long, before the bundle of joys arrived, giving me ample time and space to envisage what kind of mom i'd like to be.. blessed with twin boys, and yet expecting, i've dreamt to bring up my children, in certain ways in line with Islam and Malay tradition which does not contradict with our faith..

be it a boy, or be it a girl, i want to make sure that my children understand, observe and practice the law of Islam and adab Melayu in their life.. i want to be able to guide them to recite the Quran every after maghrib prayers.. i want us as a family to be able to perform at least one solat fardhu secara berjemaah.. i want my children to be exposed to the world of ilmu in surau as what my mom in law practised to her children.. and i can see the good things that at times people can't see when i started to be with my in law family..

at the very same time, i want my children to be able to enjoy their childhood moments like other kids.. i want them to learn in school, to be an expert in ilmu duniawi like there's no end for tomorrow's world.. i want them to strive for success.. in short, i want them to live a perfect childhood life.. i want to be around to be able to share their first ride on the bike moment.. to twirl with them when they feel like dancing.. to shove their fears way when they first visit the dentist..

when they're bigger, i want to be their best buddy, whom they can pour their thoughts and feelings without any boundary.. i want to be there to share their crushes, their choice of other half, their problems, their dreams.. i want to see them grow up as good khalifahs.. i want them to observe what is halal, what is haram.. i want them to observe the adat and adab that they have to know, for the way they behave is the reflection of our upbringing.. my doa for them to find good wife/husband (should i finally ada daughter) who possesses the quality of good muslim/muslimah to continue the generation with pride and dignity..

i pray that my children will never sway from the path of Islam.. will never forget that they're malays who are rich with adat and adab.. i want them to respect the adat resam, adab menghormati and take good care of their pride and dignity.. i don't want them to turn into lelaki dayus atau perempuan murahan.. that's my hope as a mom..

despite hubby's unpredictable work schedule and my weaknesses, i still hope that we can still reserve the time and be able to build our small nation the way we wanted it to be.. may Allah gives us good health, long quality life, petunjuk and hidayah to guide our children, our amanah to the right way of life.. amin!

i may look pretty modern in some ways of life.. but when it comes to upbringing, i'm pretty orthodox, and i do believe so do hubby.. my opinion and my way of living life may differ 100% from my siblings.. perhaps being married, and becoming parents have changed me 180 degrees.. i've learnt to give and take on some issues.. but there are some remains as important and a BIG NO-NO for me..

my dearest children, i love you so much afiq and dib dib.. not forgetting 'adik' in mommy's tummy who's about to see the world in any weeks from now.. these are my hopes and dreams.. should one day you get the chances to read mommy's thoughts and views, keep it dearly to your heart.. sayang anak mommy!