Saturday, October 17, 2009

:: a note from the broken heart ::

i hardly ask for things. in any form. be it as a daughter, a daughter in law, a wife, a sister.

simple reason, i prefer to do things on my own. so that i won't be a burden to anyone.

but at times, deep in my heart, i do have wishes. at times, i voice it out, but most of the time, i keep it to myself. especially when i think, my wish is far beyond reach.

but once i voiced it out, that means, i really want it.

it breaks my heart truly, when simple wishes are being taken for granted. when 'can't fulfill' statement need to be swallowed with no question asked.

i never asked for a RM4,000 ferragamo handbag. i never asked to cover my feet with jimmy choo's creation. i never asked for a sturdy solitaire ring diamond. i never asked for a complicated dslr to fulfill my interest. i never asked for an up to date mobile model to ring up friends. i never asked for a handsome murrano to cruise around the city. i didn't asked for a sparkling tag heur to show me the time.

i'm comfortable with my season handbag. i'm comfortable walking around in my maternity shoes. i'm comfortable with wearing my simple yet meaningful wedding ring. i'm comfortable with our 2 year old ixus. i'm comfortable with my nokia 3300 classic model. i'm comfortable with the 2nd hand family car that we bought to move around with my children. i'm happy with my ciplak cartier.

the only thing that i asked for is the cherry of the cake : a piece of happiness.

but i guess it's too expensive to get, that i should live with whatever it is.

i know, i am a nobody.

i know, in this world my simple wish is nothing important.

and i think, i have to start accepting, that despite being a very, extremely low maintenance person, it's still damn hard too fulfill a wish that was promised.

-heart broken-

5 comments:

yatie chomeyl said...

owh dear, I understand exactly how does it feels, i've been in the same shoe for my last year birthday. though its hard to forget, but after some times..we forgive. *hugs to u*

happy birthday *hugs hugs*

sheri said...

Is it your birthday? Happy birthday!
I always thought that i was the only person (or maybe very scarce) yang very low-maintainance, never ask for anything material except kasih sayang, tapi selalu rasa unappreciated.. tapikan maybe kasih sayang is something money can't buy, dan takleh diukur, so amatlah susah nak obtain kot. life has its ups and downs sha. hope ur ups will come soon (probably in a few months time and he/she will be the best gift ever). take care

Asiah Abd Jalil said...

Today is my 27th birthday. As predicted, my husband totally had no idea about the day. When reminded, he thought that I am 29 this year. Ishh... isteri sendiri pun dia tak tau umur berapa ke?

Knowing him for 14 years, that is him whom I know. Out of 14 birthdays throughout the years, I bet, only twice or thrice that he could remember my birthday before being reminded.

It took me lots of tears, before I could successfully adapt myself to it. Agaknya orang Libra memang super sensitive about the feeling of not being appreciated, especially by our loved ones, our soul mate pulak tu!

At least your loved one still remember your special day, though not able to be beside you and treat you special.

Happy birthday Kak Aishah! Great knowing you in this cyber space... :-)

aishah zaharin said...

yatie, sheri, asiah -

thanx for your words.

i rasa lepas nih i nak transform jadik aishah selamba. do things i want to do, buy things i want to buy, ask for things that i dream off, without thinking of the consequences.

i'm tired of playing plain jane already.

(huh, emo betul!)

Jue Fauzi said...

aishah,

Happy belated birthday kut by now? I think my latest n3 is quite similar.and my stands are quite similar also.sigh sigh sigh...
me? kuatkan semangat as always..think that I am a capable person, I work and I earn money also. Not a free rider!!