Tuesday, March 10, 2009

:: from a distracted mind ::

curik masa sikit blogging kat opis.

wow, entertaining 2 boys at 1.5 year-old can really drain u out. no, i'm not complaining but rather i feel very contented and blessed for being given a chance to do so, despite hard works (don't get your mind dirty yeah.. i really mean hard work) to get pregnant.

yeah, we waited for a long 4 years before i finally become a mother. it was a long journey, full of stress but alhamdulillah, it turned out to be fruitful. i was overjoyed and actually till now, i'm overjoyed by their presence. their presence to my life makes me feel so complete.

perhaps, kesusahan untuk mengandung itu buat diri aku lebih appreciate or perhaps overprotective to my sons. i can't bear listening people say bad things (i consider kata² negatif itu bad, as what we say is doa right?) to my kids. i may sound pathetic, but guess, i picked them up from my very own experiences.

i can never tell how nice it feels, when my sons finally call me 'mommy'. those sweet little voices, memang meruntun jiwa. it really touched the base of my heart.

after the tragedy of dec 11, 2008, when i loss my unborn son, i terlupa sekejap the happiness that i've got. the happiness that Allah has grant me a year and a half ago. syukurlah ada insan² budiman yang sentiasa mengingatkan diri saya tentang tanggungjawab yang sediada. yang pergi sudah pasti pergi, dan yang pergi itu pasti di syurga. sedang yang di dunia ini masih belum pasti.

i've one particular thing that i really want to blog about. tentang kenapa dan mengapa aku ingin berhenti kerja. kenapa aku terlalu ingin nak jaga anak sendiri tanpa mendatangkan kesusahan kepada sesiapa. nantilah, kalau masa mengizinkan. vause i know, if i blog about that particular thing, i'll go teary and i would take ages to finish up my entry.

anyway, i've got a oops not a, but THREE presentations to be done. 2 lectures, and one for meeting. i really should be doing those. for i'm being paid to do so.

anyway, government staff do work. jangan ingat they all tak buat keje ok? take care all. salam


sheri said...

govt staff do work..hehe.. mcm i la, org ingt lecturer ajar lecture je, pastu relax...walhal byk lagi keje2 lain.. sume tuh myth :)
can't wait to read ur entry yg berhenti kerja tu...suspense nih..
-lama tak dtg tgk ur blog..tak best ke sydney? tak nak gi la mcmni ;p

lili11 said...

berhenti kerja? the pros, the cons. With hubby's blessing, I guess you'll be ok.Blossom Blooms

Rhapsody said...

of late I am leaning more towards quiting but when I thought of giving Adam the best of education could offer and of course it's gonna cost a lot..the desire to quit becoming less but when I left him to go to work..it really wrench my heart.Aduhai..I guess ramai juga yg rasa macam ni kan?

aishah zaharin said...

sheri - pasal entry tu, kena sabar ok? hehe. coz i need some quiet time (which almost non-existence) to write, as i don't want to hurt anybody. :)

lili11 - u're right about that.

rhapsody - guess almost all moms are like that. when i start to think of the uncertain future, i re-think my options. so in the end, i end up holding on to my job. :)