:: my 5th ramadhan as a wife, and my 2nd ramadhan as a mother, my 1st ramadhan expecting ::

alhamdulillah, praises to Allah, for He has given me the chances to continue breathing, living in this world.. Praises to Allah, for He has given me the chances to celebrate Ramadhan again this year.. hopefully, i can take all opportunities to perform as much ibadah as i can this year..

so, how's Ramadhan this year? pretty different i would say.. i didn't get the chance to fast last year as i was in my confinement period, and this year round, i'm expecting, while taking care of my twin boys..

this year round, as a wife, i'll not spend 75% of Ramadhan with my husband, due to his work commitment.. pretty much, my emotion is affected but then i've to reflect myself back, that Ramadhan is not about him but is about devoting yourself to Allah and perform as much as ibadah as possible.. perhaps, this is the way that Allah has given me to maximize my time with ibadah as i don't have to look after my husband needs as he will not be around.. he's on his way to JB already, and i'm not sure when he'll be back.. he'll fly off abroad in friday most probably for a week, just to find himself fasting for a week in KL before flying abroad again.. i don't even know whether he'll be around for eid or not..

if he's not around for eid, it's going to be a lonely raya for me.. i have completed the preparation for eid especially for the boys.. because i think i won't be strong enough to shop around during Ramadhan since i'm entering my third semester.. i've found that climbing up the stairs is a daunting task.. and i find myself unable to cope with the speed of the boys lately.. i have found out that i can't really drive for a long time.. and i have found out that i'm starting to feel the pain at the c-sect cuts area.. challenges ahead - i've to take care of the boys without husband around, and i'm pretty stressed out..

but i pray to Allah, i pray that i'll be given the strength, the health and the will to continue fasting while taking care of my two boys.. i know i have to carry both responsibility as a father and mother at the same time.. i have to look after my health as well as i'm carrying heavily at the moment.. hope everything will goes on well and smooth.. amin..

nothing much to say.. wishing to all my muslim buddies - happy fasting!