Friday, September 19, 2008

:: to resign or not to ::

i vow to be a good mother..
for i want to raise up my boys as a perfect muslim,
who possesses the qualities,
laid by the faith..

but time bound me to be away,
away from their souls for quite a day..

at times,
it triggers..
how can i succeed, with this condition..

i wish i could bath them daily..
i wish i could cook them food daily..
i wish i could cradle them every milisecond, every breath i take..
i wish i would never be apart from them,
for i want them to know,
and i want them to learn,
the reality of life,
from me..

i never want to burden anyone..
i never want to let anyone else to take over my role as a mother..
for i'm the one,
who's responsible,
to answer to Allah at the end of the day..

To Resign or Not to Resign?

9 comments:

Suzie said...

sometimes it really touches us as a mom coz our kids more closer to others than their mom.to sacrifice ur career really needs a deep insight but maybe for a long term period it's worth.think carefully +ve n -ve effects n hope ur last decision would be the best n no turning back.childhood is the most crucial period n of course they need ur attention with or without u by their side.working mom has to make preferences which is really tough rite :-)

aishah zaharin said...

yeap.. i'm torn..

shac said...

uwaa~~ u can read my mind!!
if only hubby understand and let me quit.. though the financial part might not be as strong as it use to, but we'll surely find a way..
the tensed i got from office won't help in raising up my kid.
how i wish i could be a full time mother to my own gurl instead of just nighttime-and-weekend mother!

amisah said...

huhuhuhuhu...
susah ek nak pikir camni...
kalau aweng kat tempat k aishah pun mesti pikir perkara yang sama....

tapi, tuh ah, memang kena pikir pro & cons... especially tang money money tuh...
kene btol2 buat kira2...
kalau ok, better resign...
good luck kat akak!

aishah zaharin said...

sha - too many things to be considered.. understand ur hubby's concern.. we'll never know wha will happen in the future.. what if, suddenly he pass away and leave us alone to manage our kids? at that moment, where can we dig for gold to support our children?

aweng - huhu.. nih nasib baik keje gomen.. kalau keje private lagi fenin.. at least cuti 30 hari setahun leh gak aa sesuka hati nak cuti.. tapi tak cun cam full time mother aa..

aaaaaa.. wa confuse!

ayin1911 said...

Hi Capt...

i can't say much since xde xperience..but knowing you..you will find your way..& dun worry..have faith..everything will be alright..insyallah..

btw..klo rase full time work burdening u..u might want to consider switching to a flexible job..esp in academia field..or maybe u can try invest and bukak bisness yg u minat..coz at the end of the day..aside from seeing your kids grow up well..u might want some self satisfaction also..or maybe try to be free-lance..walaupun xramai lg yg wat kt malaysia..i believe that u r a good engineer plus more flexible hours..anyway..just my 2 cent..hihi..can't say been there done that..huhu..

aishah zaharin said...

thanx yin.. that's one great advise.. i need both.. am i being too greedy? huhu.. but that's the fact of life.. we can't deny that kan..

Laflybee said...

aishah..
ana pun pernah pikir menda yang sama..tapi mengenangkan pasal duit, so bertahan je. mmg..kita sbg mak ni kalu boleh nak slalu ada ngn anak2.. kita tak kisah kalu kita susah sket asalkan anak slalu dekat ngn kita. mcm satu kepuasan bila dapat jaga keperluan dia..makan pakai dia.. tanpa bantuan org lain..tapi mcm mana..susah sket la kan.

sementara afiq ngn adib belum masuk taska ni, n kalu kewangan husband mengizinkan, kalu aishah cuti tanpa gaji, pastu wat part time kat umah, possible? tp kena check dlm Perintah Am dulu, leh tak kalu nk amik cuti mcmtu

Asiah Abd Jalil said...

Here is my advice. I was a full time mother for five years. Then I worked part time as a teacher for one year, only 3 hours a day. Now I am back to school. So I have experiences living 24-7 with my kids, then I sent them to nursery for half day, now they are sent to nursery from 8 to 6.
Trust me. Now I value my time with the kids more than before. Leaving them for 10 hours a day doesn't mean that you totally have lost the bond and connection with them. Personally I think, now I have great quality time with them, more than before.
As professional, we want to get self satisfaction and reach goals in life. Don't underestimate ourselves, there are a lot we can achieve being a career woman, why downgrade ourselves to just be a full time housewife?
Our main concern is about the kids, we have fear that our kids become more attached to others than us. That's why I never hire a maid. I prefer to send them to nursery, besides reliable care supervised by the authority, my kids also get the chance to develope social skills and being in an educative environment.
Can you provide those if you're a full time housewife? You might feel noble that you're with the kids 24-7. But are you sure that you alone can educate them? Trust me, if you are a housewife, most of the time during the day, you'll busy with the house chores, not with the kids. They will be left playing alone or taking nap 2, 3 times a day, and you have time to cook, watch tv, surf internet, chit chat with neighbours and take nap. In short, you are not making progress in your life.
I believe that I need assistance to educate my children. I can teach them songs, they are happy singing with me, but they are happier singing aloud among their friends. And later that day when I pick them from the nursery, they feel excited to teach me what they have learned. I buy them lots of toys, but they prefer to share and play the toys with their friends. I can teach them how to read ABC, alif ba ta, 123, but I send them to tution classes because learning process gets easier with proper teachers, proper environment and friends around.
At the end of the day, me and my children really appreciate the little time we spend at home together. Even 6, 7 hours seem little, but the quality that matters.
So my advice, don't quit your job. There are many solutions to battle your fear. I prefer to have RM3000 more in family monthly income, my babies eat quality and healthy food, they get to have good toys, books, CDs, clothes, we can have once in a year vacation, we can send them to good schools... in short, financial freedom!