:: suddenly...... ::

yesterday, after days of being strong and calm, i broke down again.. i suddenly remember the days when i was pregnant with amin.. i suddenly miss those sweet, short moments with him.. remembering his kicks.. remembering his sommersault acts that astonished me and hubby..ntah la.. in short i miss him dearly!

sometimes, it came to my mind, that things may turned out differently should the dr admit me on the day of A&C..but i know i can't think that way.. as Allah has decided what, where, when and how will it take place.. hubby always reminded me, that even if we had gone for double check up like w did in my first preggy, if Allah has destined it that way, it will happen that way.. i have to let amin go.. i have to redha dengan pemergian dia..

sometimes, i feel guilty of planning to go to holiday and such after this tragedy happened.. but i know life must go n, and i can't forever live in misery.. i have to look at the future instead, rather than thinking too much of what had happened, for it can't change a thing! it won't bring amin back to my arms, even if i cried a river!

i know i need a getaway.. and we're planning for it.. at first, we planned it to be a lil bit far from home.. but after considering the BIG DENT.. ;) we decided to have a simple, humble holiday..

since we're planning to be in jitra on the eve of CNY to attend hubby's cousin wedding, we decided to stop by cameron highland for a short stay.. just to run away from the hustle of the city.. hope afiq and adib will behave well on the long journey as we don't intend to bring the maid along.. because we want to connect with the boys.. mommy has to pack lotsa toys to entertain the boys for the ride.. hopefully we can tame them off in the carseats.. (crossing my fingers)

i'm now on my 23rd day of confinement (how time flies!).. tomorrow, my lil bro aka falah will return to dubln for work.. the boys will definitely miss him..

okayla, afiq dah mula kacau mommy kat pc nih.. take care all.. bye